


Without Love

by Harrukawa



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Felix can’t even talk about his feelings when narrating, Felix is the musical director!, He puts on Hairspray, I used Felix’s middle name because it sounds more natural, M/M, Sylvain is a gym teacher and Felix is an English teacher, Teacher AU, dedicated to my school’s drama filled production of Hairspray, let Felix say fuck, ok lots of cussing, some cussing, sylvix - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-01-31 07:40:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 21,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21442624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harrukawa/pseuds/Harrukawa
Summary: As Felix stepped into the choir room, the students fell completely silent.“Welcome to Hairspray auditions,” he said. “Who wants to go first?”
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 28
Kudos: 202





	1. Chapter 1

As Felix stepped into the choir room, the students fell completely silent. 

“Welcome to Hairspray auditions,” he said. There was an air of anxiousness about. “Boys, will you follow Mrs. Arnault to the auditorium? You’re going to be with her for dance auditions. Girls will stay in here for vocal auditions, and then we’ll switch when we’re done.”

The kids nodded, and silently separated themselves. 

“Who wants to go first?”

-

If Felix heard There's a Fine, Fine Line one more time, he was going to rip his ears out.

The next girl stepped up to the podium.

"Hi, I'm Abigail Campbell and I'm going to be singing There's a Fine, Fine Line from Avenue Q."

Felix inwardly groaned, hoping it didn't show on his face.

Felix and about 30 other girls were in the school's choir room, a spacious classroom with with chairs lining two of the four walls. Marianne Edmund's office was in the back, filled to the brim with sheet music and one small keyboard. There were posters from previous musicals stuck on the walls, with signatures from every one of the cast members. In the middle of the room was a conductors stand and a grand piano, and in the seat, sat Ms. Edmund.

"_And a waste of time!_" Abigail sang. She wasn't bad.

He clapped when she finished, and all of the other girls in the room did as well. "Next," He called.

They were all too afraid to volunteer, as always. He got the same result with the boys, though there were considerably less of them.

"I thought Abigail sounded nice," Ms. Edmund said softly to him about an hour after everyone had left. The two of them were sitting in the padded seats of the auditorium now, looking up at the empty stage.

Felix flipped through the audition papers in his hands, and only supplied an "eh" when he found hers. "Nice, yes. Not for Tracy though. Who were you thinking for Link?"

Ms. Edmund paused for a moment, wracking her brain for any specific people. "I think Blake would make a good Link."

Felix opened his mouth to argue with her, then hesitated. Ms. Edmund usually had a tendency to sugarcoat the talents of her students, but in this case, she was actually right.

"I actually agree with you on that one. He would be perfect."

Felix found his audition sheet, and glanced at the conflicts Blake had written down. It took him a few seconds to decipher his slanted handwriting, but it read: "_I don't know the times for basketball practice yet_."

"Students who play basketball have always been able to be in the show, right?" Felix turned to Ms. Edmund, who was staring at her hands.

"Usually, yes. But we just got a new basketball coach. You'll probably have to ask for his permission."

"Oh, I didn't know that. Have you met him yet?"

Ms. Edmund looked down. "Yeah.. he's.. nice."

Felix had a sneaking suspicion she was lying.

-

_Knock, knock, knock._

Felix rapped on the door of the office for the second time, growing impatient.

His mood began to plummet with every second he stood out there, as well as his feelings towards the new teacher.

He would've left by now if he were here for personal reasons, but this was for the musical, so he was stuck here.

_Knock, knock, KNOCK._

"Coming!" A voice called from inside. The door swung open, revealing the new gym teacher.

The first thing that Felix noticed was his hair—fiery red and sticking out in every direction. He was wearing a white t-shirt and gym shorts, clearly he had practice with the students soon.

"..I was wondering if I could speak with you for a moment about Blake Jackson?" Felix asked, avoiding his eyes.

The gym teacher grinned, and crossed his arms across his chest with a nod. "Great kid, very talented."

"I'm well aware of that, mister—? I'm sorry, what was it again?"

"Sylvain. You can call me Sylvain."

"What's your last name?" Felix felt a tad embarrassed to be asking this a month into the school year, but he didn't really hang out with the other teachers much.

He seemed confused.

"You mean what the kids call me? Mr. G." 

It irked Felix. He liked remaining professional with his colleagues, and if this new teacher thought it was weird, then so be it. 

"Alright then, Mr. G," Felix said quickly, not looking to see his reaction. "I'm the director of the school musical here, and—“

Felix was interrupted once more.

"You don't teach music, though, right? Shouldn't that be the choir teacher's job? Marianne, is it?"

Felix resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He just needed to ask one simple question and this was turning into a whole meet and greet. "Ms. Edmund helps, yes, but I oversee it. Anyway," he continued before Mr. G could interrupt again, "we were considering Blake for the role of Link Larkin in Hairspray, but I wanted to check with you first. Blake would be giving up a lot of practice time for this show, but I promise he'd never miss a game. Plus, he seemed very excited at auditions."

Mr. G was smiling when Felix met his gaze again. "A lead? Good for him."

There was a beat of silence. "So?"

"Oh!" Mr. G said, as if he'd forgotten he'd been asked a question. "I dunno.. I'll think about it.”

Felix blinked, completely baffled by how unprofessional this man was acting. "You'll...think about it?"

"Well, yeah!" Mr. G said, placing a hand on his hip. "I'll get back to you on that... uh—?" It took Felix a moment to realize he was asking for his name.

"Mr. Hugo."

"Ah, they told me about you,” Mr. G smirked, messing with the door handle.

_Okay.. what the fuck does that mean?_

"Excuse me?" Felix said instead, since that was a tad more professional.

"You know,” was all Mr. G supplied.

"Goodbye, Mr. G."

He turned on his heel, and as he was walking away, Mr. G called after him.

"See you around."

-

It had only been a day since his encounter with Mr. G, but callbacks for Hairspray were 3 days ago and people were starting to get antsy.

_I’ll just cast Blake at the end of the day no matter what, who cares what Mr. G thinks?_

"You see, students, in the first scaffold scene, Dimmesdale is quite literally looking down on Hester from his place on the balcony." Felix scribbled something incomprehensible on the board, pacing in front of it. "However, in the second, he stands by Hester and Pearl, as they are on the same level in the narrative _and_ on the scaffold. Finally in the third, Hester stands above Dimmesdale as he lay dying..."

Felix trailed off as he looked back at the 24 giggling faces of his students, wondering what the hell was so funny about this tragic story.

Felix followed their gazes to his door. Mr. G was leaning against the doorframe, messing with his whistle. He flashed Felix a grin when he finally noticed him.

There was silence.

"Is there anything you need?" Felix eventually asked, hoping Mr. G could hear the annoyance in his voice.

Mr. G glanced to Blake, then his gaze immediately went back to Felix. "Is it alright if I borrow Blake for a moment?"

Felix paused, taken aback for some reason. He really hadn't thought Mr. G was actually going to do anything about it, there was something about his demeanor that was so.. carefree.

It was infuriating.

"Sure," Felix said with a wave of his hand, turning to decipher his messy handwriting on the whiteboard. _Where did I leave off?_

"Thanks," Mr. G said, and waited until Blake was out the door to leave. Felix snuck another glance at him, this time fully noticing how _short_ his shorts were.

_Surely there’s a dress code for such things, no?_

His students' mumbling snapped him out of whatever he was thinking about. He quickly tried regaining their attention, but apparently one look at the gym teacher throws everyone off. Felix just let them work on their group projects for the rest of class; they hadn't been listening in the first place.

"Coach G said he's okay with me doing the musical." Blake grinned at Felix as he returned to the classroom about 10 minutes later.

"That's wonderful, Blake. The cast list will be posted on Ms. Edmund's door this afternoon, then."

So, Felix headed down to Ms. Edmund's classroom during his planning period.

She was playing a beautiful melody as he entered, a cute concentrated look on her face. It seemed to be a choir piece they were working on.

Suddenly the notes ceased, and her grayish eyes met his.

"I didn't see you there, Mr. Hugo. You startled me," she chuckled softly.

"Afternoon, Ms. Edmund. Mr. G cleared Blake to rehearse with us."

He didn't try hiding the annoyance in his voice when he said his name, and Ms. Edmund either didn't notice, or didn't comment on it.

"Oh, that's wonderful news!"

There was silence for a moment as Felix remembered what Mr. G had said in his office. "_Ah, they told me about you_."

_Seriously, what the fuck does that mean?_

Felix faltered for a moment, deciding to do something he knew he'd regret later. He didn't want to know, yet at the same time, he needed to.

"..Do you.. do the other teachers talk about me?"

Ms. Edmund seemed taken aback by his words, hesitating a moment before speaking.

"I.. couldn't tell you that."

It felt so impersonal and distant, despite Felix knowing her for three years now. And yes, he was an adult, but he'd never been invited out anywhere with the teachers. How was it possible that he had a better connection with his students than his coworkers? Why did they care so much about his business?

Felix turned away from her. "I'll have the cast list printed and put up by the end of the day."

And with that, he left.

-

"I'll tell you right off the bat that this show is not going to be easy. It will take work and effort, and it will be stressful at times, but I know you all can do it." 50 pairs of eyes watched Felix expectantly as he paced the floor of Miss Edmund's classroom, looking at each and every one of them in turn. "Hairspray is a wonderful show with great messages that still need to be said today, and I know each and every one of you is capable of that. Congratulations on making it into the show, let's make it a great one."

It had been a few days since the cast list came out, and though there had been a little drama around it, eventually everything sorted itself out. Felix hadn't heard anything from Mr. G, thankfully, and he hoped he wouldn't have to deal with him ever again.

_Okay, maybe that’s a tad extreme._ He hadn't really done much, he was just incredibly unprofessional.

_But, there‘s no time to think about Mr. G now. _

All of Felix's energy had to be devoted to the show, and to his students.

Blake was ecstatic to be in the show. Seeing him smile as he read the cast list actually made Felix feel a tad better about his job. He'd always liked Blake, he had a phenomenal voice and always kept up with his schoolwork. Felix couldn't attest to his playing skills, though, as he had never been to a game. As far as Felix knew, this was his first time in a show.

A girl named Julia had been cast as Tracy. Felix didn't know her, but he could tell at auditions that her personality was bubbly and bright, which was exactly what they needed. She very obviously loved what she did and it showed, and Felix felt confident casting her.

Seaweed and Penny were students he'd known since he'd been hired; students he'd seen grow throughout the course of his time here. They were talented, and deserved it for being so patient.

It was their first read through, and Felix gave the speech he'd given every year, and the line reading began.

Ms. Edmund was there, as well as Dorothea Arnault, their choreographer. 

The cast continued with their lines for the next two hours, stopping when the songs started so they could listen to them. The kids' energy was contagious, and by the end of practice, Felix could tellthis would be an incredibly fun show. He was counting on the students, now, to bring it their all at every rehearsal.

"The next rehearsal is on Wednesday, don't forget your scripts." He finished the night with, and said goodbye to 50 smiling faces.

He looked forward to coming into work on Wednesday.

-

Well, mostly.

Some of the cast members were finding it difficult to stay on their harmonies in Good Morning Baltimore despite Ms. Edmund playing their parts on the piano multiple times. Felix had to step out of the room for a moment—it was their first rehearsal, he wouldn't lose his temper yet.

The rehearsal days dragged on, and soon a week had went by, and it was time to start blocking.

Felix stepped into the auditorium with the leads following behind him, ready to start with scene 1.

Felix joined them on stage for the first half, showing them where to stand, where to move to, and how to deliver certain lines. Blake and Julia caught on quickly, and Kate, who played Penny, slowly got the hang of it. He was coming down the steps of the stage when he spotted someone else in the auditorium, sitting in the back row of seats.

Blake seemed to notice him at the same time, though his reaction to him was a tad different than Felix's.

"Hey, Coach G!" He waved happily.

Felix sat down in the front row before he could overthink things. "Let's not get distracted."

Blake mumbled an apology, and they started from scene 1.

Felix could barely pay attention, though, with Mr. G sitting in the back. _What is he gaining from this? Does it have to do with what he said a few weeks ago?_

Felix felt like he was in middle school, overthinking things that probably meant absolutely _nothing_.

"Mr. Hugo?"

Felix quickly snapped out of whatever he was in, shooting Julia what he hoped was an apologetic look. "Yes?"

"Am I supposed to be on stage left or right here?"

"Where you are is fine, just come a little closer downstage, please."

"Okay!" She said, and moved to where she needed to be. It helped get him back on track, and for that he was thankful.

The rest of rehearsal went smoothly, and by the end of it, he had almost forgotten about Mr. G.

Almost.

He gathered his stuff from the front row and turned to ask Mr. G why he was there, but he was already gone. The students said goodbye, and Felix was left alone.

-

Felix thought that would be the last of it, but Mr. G showed up to the next rehearsal, and the one after that. He never spoke, just watched, and it was because of this that Felix never got used to it.

The next rehearsal was their first choreography one, and they were learning a song nearly everyone was in, The Madison.

"Hello everyone!"

Mrs. Arnault introduced herself to the cast members on stage while Felix sat in the middle of the auditorium, writing the rest of his blocking notes.

"They're doing a great job," a voice whispered from behind him.

"God—!" Felix jumped, causing him to knock his notebook onto the ground. Felix clapped a hand over his mouth before he cussed in front of these children, but half of them were already looking at him anyway.

"Sorry,” the voice laughed, though it didn't sound very genuine.

"What are you doing here, Mr. G?" Felix huffed, bending over to pick up his notebook. He turned to look at Mr. G in the row behind him once he had gotten it.

"It's Sylvain,” he said stubbornly, then shrugged."Just watching. Blake asked me to come."

Somehow, Felix didn't believe that.

Mr. G continued, though. "He's scared of you."

"No he's not." Felix said.

"I don't know, you're pretty scary when you're angry."

"How would you know?"

Mr. G didn't respond, or even speak the rest of rehearsal. Felix went back to writing his notes.

A couple minutes later, he noticed that nobody on stage was singing as they were dancing even though they _knew the song._

"SING!" He yelled to them.

The kids, admittedly, looked terrified.

That didn't mean Mr. G was right, though.

-

Mr. G watching the rehearsals sort of became a thing. During a particularly grueling set building day with lots of yelling, Mr. G just sat in the auditorium for the later half, judging him silently.

Felix figured he'd leave with the other students like he always did, but that day he stayed.

Felix decided he'd just ignore him, and finish the set himself, since the students hadn't made any progress. He started nailing records to one of the platforms, in a sort of wavy pattern.

"Mr. Hugo?" Suddenly came from behind him, making him jump again.

"What, Mr. G?" He sounded incredibly exasperated, and for a minute he thought that would be enough to get him to just leave him alone. He was wrong, though.

Mr. G folded his arms across his chest, and leaned back against the stage. "I think they’re scared of you."

Felix whipped around from the set piece, staring daggers at Mr. G. “They aren't."

"Pretty sure they are. You yell at them for things they're doing wrong and never compliment them. Half of them don’t think they're good enough."'

"Where are you getting this from?" Felix snapped.

"I can't tell you that," Mr. G laughed, "that's not fair to them. They've got it bad enough from you already."

He was obviously teasing, but it admittedly stung. _The kids don’t think that, do they?_

He wanted to say no, but then again, he couldn't remember the last time he complimented a performance.

He thought back to the events of the day, cringing when he remembered that he blew up at a young man for being on his phone for 2 seconds. Not to mention how scared they looked at the first choreography rehearsal. After a moment, he muttered, "I suppose I could stand to compliment them a little more."

Felix didn't know why he was actually thinking about listening to this man's advice. He thought the way he directed was perfectly normal, and if the kids disagreed, they could quit.

_Okay, maybe I am a little harsh on them._

"There you go! That's all they're asking for."

Felix didn't respond, and continued hammering the records to the wall. He could feel Mr. G's eyes on him, and the longer he stared it the more uncomfortable Felix became.

"Are you just going to stand there?" Felix eventually blurted.

"I was planning to, yeah."

Felix turned once more, seeing Mr. G smirking at him with his hands in his pockets. Felix rolled his eyes, and turned back to the set. "You're distracting me."

"Am I?" Mr. G teased. Felix quickly realized his poor word choice, and felt a flush of embarrassment. _Fuck_.

Suddenly Mr. G was by his side, picking up a spare hammer one of the kids had left. "Fine, I'll help if you're distracted. I don't see how me coming closer will help, though."

Felix swallowed, trying to ignore him. "You do this one. I'll start painting the other one." He stood, but Mr. G's gaze was still on him.

"Okay, how do you want me to hammer these? Direct me."

"Just follow the pattern, it's simple,” Felix said, because frankly he didn't see what Mr. G was getting at. When Mr. G didn't respond, Felix rolled up his sleeves and got to work a few feet away from him.

They worked in silence for about 2 minutes, with only the sounds of Mr. G's hammering and Felix's paintbrush scraping the wood in the air.

"So how'd you get stuck doing the musical?"

Felix faltered, mostly because of Mr. G's words, but also because he'd been so caught up in painting he'd forgotten he was there. "Please tell me you're joking."

"I'm not! You don't seem to like doing it much and it's not even your job."

"I love doing it, it's one of the only things I look forward to every year. It's insulting you would even ask."

"Sorry,” Mr. G said, and it sounded genuine for once.

Felix paused, letting the anger subside.

He could maybe see how one could gather that from an outside perspective—he supposed he never was good at expressing his emotions. Nobody had ever asked him before, but surely the other teachers wondered that as well, right? It's wasn't entirely fair to get mad at Mr. G, who was dropping everything to come help work on the set with him, and who actually talked to him.

"...Ms. Edmund asked me if I wanted to direct it the first year I was hired. She wasn't comfortable doing it and wanted someone that would make it great." Felix avoided his gaze, but continued, "So, you're not entirely wrong, I didn't want to do it the first year, but now I wouldn't give it up for the world.I love seeing these kids come out of their shells and do something they love." _Because I never did_ went unsaid, but the silence in the air afterwards seemed to imply it. Felix immediately regretted the words as the silence dragged on, confused as to why he felt like opening up in the first place.

"That's kind of how I feel about coaching.. I get to push the kids to do something they love," Mr. G said, then ceased his hammering. "That, and, a lot of women are into it."

"You're—" _disgusting_ first came to mind, but he couldn't _say_ that. Felix was determined to remain professional with this man even though he wasn't getting the same treatment back. So he fell silent.

"Come on, it was a joke! Lighten up a little, teach."

"Don't call me that." Felix wiped his cheek, trying to focus on the paint in front of him.

"What do you want me to call you, then?"

"I told you. Mr. Hugo is fine."

He snuck a glance at Mr. G, who was now messing with the nails instead of hammering. Felix would've called him out on it, but Mr. G had already done more work than the students had all day—the wall was almost finished.

Mr. G caught his eye, a smirk on his face. "You really expect me to take you seriously when you've got paint all over your cheek? No way, what's your first name?"

Felix immediately tried wiping away the paint on his cheek, grumbling under his breath. "You didn't catch it when you were gossiping about me?"

Which wasn't entirely professional, he'll admit.

"Gossiping?" Mr. G asked, obviously feigning innocence. Though, when Felix looked at him again, the usual twinkle in his eye was gone.

"To the other teachers,” Felix muttered.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Forget it."

The silence stretched on, becoming even more unbearable by the second. Felix was too stubborn to break it, so Mr. G spoke up first.

"I think you have the wrong impression of me,” He said. It was soft, and calm, unlike anything he'd heard Mr. G say up until then.

Felix didn't know why he did it, but in that moment, he decided to do something stupid.

"Felix." He risked a glance at Mr. G, who looked lost. Felix rolled his eyes, then slapped the lid of paint back onto the bucket. "That's my first name."

"Felix?" Mr. G shook his head, "That doesn't suit you at all."

Felix scoffed. "Well, great, because you're not allowed to use it."

"What?! That's not fair—give me another chance?"

Felix almost smiled. Almost.

-

Rehearsals continued, a lot of them incredibly slow, but at least they got through it. Blocking was the easiest, and they were nearly done with it now.

"Where's Blake?" Felix asked as they were blocking one of the final scenes.

Julia was quick to answer. "Basketball practice."

"Oh," Felix said, glancing out to see that the auditorium seats were empty.

"Something the matter?"

Felix shook his head. "No, no. I just forgot, is all."

"He'll be here later," Kate piped up.

They worked around Blake not being there, though it was a tad irritating to think Felix would have to reteach it to him.

Blake did, in fact, stumble in late. So late that they only had 30 minutes left of rehearsal.

"So sorry, Mr. Hugo." Blake stumbled onto stage. "We have a game on Saturday."

"What time?" Felix asked.

Blake looked around at the other kids in confusion, as if Felix were lying to him. "You're not mad?"

He wasn't, until Blake asked. "No," he huffed. "We could all go as a cast. You know. Bonding."

Blake smiled. Felix suddenly got an idea. "Say, does this mean you'll have practice tomorrow?"

-

Felix didn't know why he was doing it.

Well..

_To get Mr. G back, of course. That's why._

That's what he told himself as he sat stiffly in the bleachers. He was getting Mr. G back for sitting in on musical practices by sitting in on basketball practice.

_Yes, that’s it._

He shifted in his seat.

...

_So why am_ I the_ one feeling so awkward?_

Felix almost moved to leave, but his eyes drifted to Mr. G's stupid red short shorts again. He hadn't noticed Felix yet, he was too busy speaking to his players, but just looking at his back made Felix stay put.

He wasn't leaving. He'd come here to get under Mr. G's skin, and he was going to do that. Perhaps it was unprofessional, childish, and a little petty, but he wasn't backing down now.

So, he watched the basketball team play for a short while. Felix didn't know if he could call them good, he'd never been to a basketball game, but he _did_ know that they worked well together. They respected Mr. G, that much was clear.

Watching Mr. G coach—Felix had to begrudgingly admit—was actually pretty.. entertaining. He was sharp, focused, and very much unlike the Mr. G Felix had come to know.

Felix actually got somewhat invested after a while, completely forgetting the reason he was there until Mr. G finally turned around and caught his eye.

Felix smirked. He could only hope it conveyed every ounce of annoyance he felt towards Mr. G. _I'm here,_ he hoped it said, _surprised_?

Mr. G didn't look frustrated, or angry, or even mildly surprised. When he caught Felix's eye, his expression softened, and he flashed him a stupidly charming smile.

And, god, did it make him want to kick his teeth in.

"Why don't we take a little break, huh?" Mr. G called to his players. Felix braced himself as he sauntered over to him, one hand loosely hanging onto a basketball, the other clutching his whistle. "Hey! What's up? Come to see how I direct?"

Felix swallowed. "As a matter of fact, I did. I wanted to see how you liked being watched, for a change."

"Oh?" Mr. G cocked an eyebrow. "You know I love the attention."

Felix couldn't stop the groan that escaped him, childish as it was. Mr. G continued as if he hadn't heard. "So?"

"So what?"

"What'd you think? They're pretty good, huh?"

Felix glanced behind Mr. G. The players were either talking to each other, glancing at the two of them a tad suspiciously, or getting some water. Blake flashed Felix a smile as he caught his eye, which he politely returned. "I.. suppose so."

"So you can smile."

"I beg your pardon?" Felix snapped, his attention returning to Mr. G. He was smirking again.

"Don't get angry, I just didn't know it was possible," Mr. G chuckled, then paused a moment before softly saying, "..It's a nice smile."

Felix just about walked out right then and there, but he was already this deep—he couldn't let Mr. G win. He looked away, ignoring the rising heat in his cheeks. "I'm not _heartless_, Mr. G."

"It's Sylvain,” Mr. G laughed again, absentmindedly spinning the basketball in his hands. "You coming to the game Saturday?"

Felix blinked, debating whether or not to tell him. He didn't want his ego inflated any more than it already was, but lying didn't seem like the best way out of this.

"Some of the cast is coming, yes,” he said slowly.

Mr. G clicked his tongue. "That wasn't the question, _Mr. Hugo_."

Clearly, Felix's plan to annoy Mr. G was backfiring.

It seemed as if Felix was the only one growing irritated, which frustrated him further.

"Fine, yes," Felix scoffed. "I'm coming."

"Perfect,” Mr. G said. "Just what I wanted to hear."

"Please," Felix scoffed, but Mr. G was already blowing his whistle and turning away.

Only Julia, Abigail, Ben—who played Seaweed—, and a few other chorus members showed up to support Blake, but they had fun nonetheless.

Blake played well, Felix assumed, and grinned brightly when he saw them in the stands. It made this all seem worthwhile.

-

"What were you thinking for The Big Dollhouse?"

Mrs. Arnault shifted on the stage, looking down at her choreography notes. "You want everyone in that number?"

"Just the girls,” Felix replied.

"Oh, right!" Mrs. Arnault met his gaze. "I was thinking that one could be auditioned."

"I'm not opposed to it."

Mrs. Arnault giggled. "Could I get one 'great idea, Dorothea'? Or 'great job, Dorothea'? Is that too much to ask?"

Felix didn't reply, he was completely caught off guard by how forward she was. She didn't seem to be looking for one, though, as she sat down her speaker and the music began playing.

She went through the whole song, marking through the dance steps and talking through the ones that involved other people. "I think it'll be fun!"

"I like it. You're teaching it next rehearsal?" Mrs. Arnault nodded, and Felix began to wonder if Mr. G would be there.

"What's wrong?" She suddenly asked.

"Huh?" Felix blinked, surprised. He hadn't noticed we was.. so easy to read.

"I've known you for a while, Mr. Hugo. I think I can tell when something is up," Mrs. Arnault said, as if she were reading his mind. Felix instinctively took a step back, which earned a laugh from her.

"Sorry, It's just.." Felix couldn't finish. It's true, he'd known Mrs. Arnault for a while, yet he barely knew anything about her. It almost made him feel guilty, though he'd never cared much before. "..It's nothing."

Mrs. Arnault sighed, half-smiling. "Thought so."

Dance rehearsal the next day was actually very productive. They got to work on The Big Dollhouse, and when the ensemble left, Julia and Blake worked on It Takes Two. Felix stood in front of the stage most of the time, rather than his usual seat in the auditorium. He didn't have to turn around to know Mr. G was there, mostly because he'd cheer for the cast when they finished learning the dances, but also because he was always there.

Mr. G stayed after the rehearsal, as per usual. Only this was his first time when Mrs. Arnault was there.

"I don't believe we've met yet,” she said as Mr. G bounded up the steps.

"Sylvain,” he grinned. "And you are?"

"Dorothea Arnault,” she said, twisting a piece of hair around her finger. Felix rolled his eyes. "And what do you do around here?"

Felix picked up the portable speaker. "Nothing. He does nothing."

Mr. G pointed to the records on the set. "I hammered those in."

"Only when forced to," Felix scoffed as he handed it to Mrs. Arnault. She didn't even look at him when she took it—her eyes remained fixated on Mr. G. 

"Well, I actually have somewhere to be tonight, I just wanted to say goodbye. See you two tomorrow!" Mr. G called as he slipped past them to the exit. 

"Nice meeting you!" Mrs. Arnault called as he left. She waited until he was out the doors to add, "he's cute."

Felix gathered his stuff with a sigh. "You're married."

"I didn’t mean for me,” she laughed.

Felix didn't ask her what she meant; it didn't feel like was his business.

-

The next day, they were running through the dances they'd already choreographed, just to make sure their knowledge was being retained. Felix was sitting in the seats today, with Mr. G in the row behind him.

"_It takes two._." Blake sang, dancing along with the music. Julia watched expectantly, when suddenly the two froze. They both looked at each other, deciding whether or not to go for it, when Julia hopped off of the stool. She stiffly put her hands on Blake's shoulders, awkwardly swaying as they both sang. Felix couldn't stand to watch it anymore.

"Stop!" Felix yelled, and Blake and Julia quickly sprung apart.

Blake flashed Felix a sheepish smile. "Mrs. Arnault didn't really choreograph this part."

"Yes, I'm well aware," Felix said, quickly walking up the stairs to the stage. "It's supposed to look natural. Julia— you just hop in whenever you feel like it. Surprise him! Make it a different spot every night if you want. And when you finally do," Felix pulled Julia closer to Blake. "You've actually got to get close to him—this isn't a school dance."

Felix almost reached for Julia to show Blake what to do before he realized that no, that would be super weird. Blake seemed to realize this, and a grin quickly spread across his face. 

"Coach G could show us,” he said.

"No, no, no,” Felix objected, but the students were already talking over him. Even Julia seemed to be on board, now that she had relaxed a little. "Mr. G is just watching, right?" He said sternly.

Mr. G shook his head, sauntering up the steps with a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Nope, I'm more than happy to help,” he said as he stepped in front of Felix.

Felix grimaced, thinking over the consequences in his head. _Yes, dancing with Mr. G seems like torture, but Julia.._

If it was enough to make Julia relax, then he'd do it.

"..Fine. I'll be Julia and Mr. G will be Blake," he spoke to them, because he couldn't look at Mr. G. "Blake, you'll put your hand on her hip."

Mr. G did as he was told, cupping Felix's hip with a surprisingly gentle touch. Felix almost forgot to keep speaking, his mind going blank the second his hand touched him. _Fuck_, why was this so hard? "And—uh, Julia will put her hand on his shoulder."

Felix did so, suddenly realizing how tall, and (almost) handsome Mr. G was. It was the first time he'd been forced to look at him, and.. _fuck_. He was quickly reminded of Mrs. Arnault's words from the previous day, and... yeah, he couldn't fucking do this.

_It's for Julia_, he thought. _Do it for Julia._

"..Then you clasp your hands together." Mr. G's hand enveloped his own. It was, again, surprisingly soft. "And then.."

Felix led the two of them in a simple waltz.

It took a few seconds for Mr. G to get the hang of it, but Felix had to admit that he was surprisingly light on his feet. He didn't speak, which Felix was grateful for, but only made him more nervous.

Mr. G also never took his eyes off Felix, his stare boring into Felix's forehead as he looked to the ground. Their bodies were so close, and he didn't think he could handle looking him straight in the eye.

They crossed the stage together, and for a moment Felix forgot the students were watching the two of them. That is, until Mr. G suddenly leaned forward, his lips dangerously close to Felix's ear. Felix hated that his whole body shivered as his breath tickled the tip of his ear. "You're a good dancer, Felix," Mr. G muttered, and maybe it was Felix's imagination, but he swore he felt him give his hand a gentle squeeze. Felix quickly stepped away before he could notice his quickly growing blush.

"Okay!" Felix blurted, turning to Julia and Blake, who were smiling at the two of them politely. They must not have heard, which was reassuring. "And— and then you.. kiss. But we don't need to demonstrate that."

"I forgot how to kiss, could you show us?"

"You're quite the comedian, Blake. Keep it up and I'll make you kiss her every rehearsal from now on." Felix crossed his arms over his chest, still hyper aware of Mr. G's presence behind him.

Blake seemed to consider this, but Julia gave him a look before he could think on it further.

Felix started down the stairs to stage, calling out, "Do it again."

"Yes, sir,” Blake mumbled.

Felix really tried paying attention, but he couldn't shake the burning sensation on his hip.

The tingly feeling followed him through the rest of the day, even when Felix was unlocking the door to his crappy apartment, and sitting down on his crappy sofa.

It followed him as he ate dinner, as he was in the shower, as he was brushing his teeth, and as he laid down in his bed. The bed was cold, but luckily the feeling followed him into his dreams, accompanied by a fiery headed spirit that made things a little warmer.

Felix couldn't quite place what was causing it, though.

Or maybe he just didn't want to.

-

_Hello, Mr. Hugo._

_I am not able to make it to school today, I got sick last night_ _. We could cancel rehearsal today if you'd like, but perhaps you could teach Without Love to them for me? I know you've done it in the past, but if not we can reschedule._

Felix read the email for the third time that day, already downing his 2nd cup of coffee. He had hardly gotten any sleep last night, and was counting on Miss Edmund to lead the music rehearsal today.

"Hand in your essays, and then we'll start on page 374 of the college readings,” he told his class, getting up from his chair with a sigh.

Felix already knew it was going to be a long day as soon as he started grading the essays from his first period during lunch. He was only on the 5th one and his vision was already blurring.

"_Jim is shown to be Huck's true parental figure, as he follows him on his journey—"_ Felix quickly circled the two 'be' verbs, wiping his eyes with a sigh. He felt a migraine coming on.

"Felix?"

"Fucking shit—!" He jumped, nearly spilling coffee all over their work. He spun around to a laughing Mr. G. "Stop doing that."

"I'm sorry, it's funny." He hummed lightly, stepping a little closer. "For someone who's so uptight, you've got one hell of a potty mouth."

"I don't do it in front of the kids," Felix muttered, mostly because it was true. It was a bad habit that he'd tried quitting, but couldn't shake. He suddenly registered what Mr. G had said. "And it's Mr. Hugo."

Mr. G laughed again, leaning a little closer to his desk. "You didn't correct me when we were dancing." 

Felix grimaced, frustrated that his face was growing hot. He held his essays a little higher, changing the subject. "What do you want?"

"Just wanted to say hi,” Mr. G said. He didn't elaborate.

"Well, then. Hi. Does that suffice?" Felix held his papers a little tighter, hoping Mr. G would notice that he was a tad busy.

Mr. G didn't take the hint, and simply shrugged. "I guess so. I also came by to ask you a question."

"A question?" Felix asked, barely listening. He had to get these graded by Tuesday, and his chances were looking grim.

"Blake wants to know how you want him to do his hair for the show."

"Why didn't he just ask me himself?"

Mr. G shrugged again. Felix didn't know why, but the action was really starting to piss him off. "Maybe, I'm just throwing it out there.. maybe he's scared of you?"

"That _still_ isn't funny,” Felix muttered, wondering how their relationship had turned into something so unprofessional. Maybe it was going to one of his games, or being forced to sit with him for at least 3 times a week, or _dancing_ with him. "I have something in mind. Tell him I'll do it for him."

"Will do, Felix."

Felix didn't correct him.

Instead, he remembered the email Miss Edmund had sent him. "You're not coming to rehearsal today, right?"

"I hadn't planned on it." Mr. G was smarter than he looked, because he picked up on the implication a lot faster than Felix expected him to. "Why?"

"No reason."

Mr. G gave Felix a smirk, and suddenly Felix regretted saying anything in the first place.

Yup, today was going to be a _long_ day.

-

Felix braced himself outside the doors of the choir room, knowing full well that Mr. G would be in there, waiting.

"Hey, Mr. Hugo," Kate greeted him as he entered, and most of the other kids fell silent.

And, sure enough, there he was, in the corner. He was chatting politely with Blake, who seemed a tad confused, yet happy.

Felix took a shaky seat on the piano, cheeks growing red. It not like he hadn't done this before, it's just..

Felix shook the thought away. He didn't care what Mr. G thought.

"Where is everyone?" Felix asked them. It was an 'everyone' rehearsal, yet only 20 or so of them had shown up.

Abigail spoke up. "Ms. Edmund isn't here, so people assumed we didn't have rehearsal."

"It was never canceled though," Felix snapped, a little harshly, knowing full well the people here already knew that. "Gather around the piano."

"You're teaching us? I didn't know you sang!" Blake asked excitedly, jumping up by his side at the piano. Everyone else followed suit.

"I don't. Turn to Without Love, on page 157." He played the first chord on the piano, and got to teaching them. 

Felix just had the play the parts on the piano for the most part, and avoided singing it for them unless he really had to. The first instance of this was with Blake.

"Blake, you're not thinking high enough on the 'break'. Relax a little, think a little higher." When Blake gave him a blank stare, he swallowed his pride. _"It's like getting my big 'break' in laryngitis,_" He sang, playing the notes on the piano, emphasizing what he was saying to Blake. 

"Oh!" Blake said, "I get it now. Thanks."

"You're a good singer, Mr. Hugo!" Kate piped up.

"Flattery will get you nowhere, Kate." Felix teased, though he was feeling a tad embarrassed. "Moving on."

Rehearsal finished soon afterwards. All in all, it seemed pretty successful, they'd finally gotten all the songs learned, and most of the big numbers had been choreographed.

Since he had to wait until everyone had left, Felix continued plucking notes on the piano, which left he and Mr. G alone. Again.

Mr. G started towards him after the last student walked out the door, and leaned on the piano slightly. Felix ceased his playing, and met his gaze.

"Kate was right. You have a nice voice, Felix."

Felix muttered a thanks, since he didn't really know what else to say. He wasn't a big fan of singing in front of crowds, he'd always left that to the actors.

"Could you sing something for me?" Mr. G smirked, taking a step closer to Felix.

"Hell no."

"Aw, come on,” Mr. G laughed, but the sound was drowned out by Felix's light playing of the piano.

Mr. G fell silent for a moment, a rare sight, as he listened to the melody. "Did you write that?"

Felix blinked, a surprised laugh escaping him without much thought. "No. It's from Mamma Mia."

Mr. G looked confused. "Huh?"

Felix couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. "You're kidding?"

"Oh, is that, like, a musical?" Felix rolled his eyes, another chuckle escaping him. Mr. G looked ecstatic. "I don't know them as well as you do."

And suddenly, Mr. G was nudging Felix's shoulder, asking him to scoot over on the piano bench. Felix didn't know why he did it, but he obliged. "I know how to play, too."

"Oh, really?" Felix asked, shifting so his arm wasn't brushing Mr. G's shoulder.

Mr. G put his hands on the keys. "My dad taught me when I was 10. Surely, it can't be that hard to remember, right?"

It was. Mr. G was terrible; Felix stopped him before he could finish.

"You're bad at this."

"That's mean. I'm trying my best." Mr. G tried plucking a few more notes, but then nodded, ceasing. "Yeah. You're right."

There was comfortable silence for a moment, which grew awkward when Felix realized their thighs were touching.

Mr. G took his hands off of the piano, turning to face Felix. "Hey, Felix?"

"Hm?" Felix tried very hard to focus on Mr. G's words, and not on their legs.

Mr. G hesitated. Felix felt something tight grip his chest, his stomach wrenching painfully.

"Do you.. maybe want to go out for drinks after Friday's rehearsal?" Felix's throat tightened, his cheeks growing hot. _What?_

"Go out?"

"Yeah, we'll get drinks, pick up some ladies! I'll bring my girlfriend, fun, right?"

_Oh_.

"Uh—" Felix suddenly stood from the piano, quickly remembering what kind of person Mr. G was. _What had I been _thinking_, anyway?_ "I don't know. I'll think about it."

Felix didn't look at Mr. G, but could hear the confusion in his voice when he spoke again. "Oh. Okay? Just just me know."

"I will."

-

Felix didn't sleep again that night. He had no clue why he'd been so casual around Mr. G, what made him drop his guard around him. It was scary, frightening, really.

It couldn't have been Mr. G himself. Mr. G was annoying, and so.. irritating. Felix must've been so tired he let his guard down. What other explanation was there?

He didn't know. He didn't want to know.

-

"Did you think about it?" Mr. G asked after rehearsal the next day.

"Think about what?" Felix rose from his seat, already walking away. Mr. G followed, like some sort of puppy. An annoying one, at that.

"You know."

Felix glanced at his clipboard. "I'll have to check my schedule. I've got essays to grade, unlike you."

Mr. G ignored the jab, and instead sounded puzzled. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Felix said, a tad harshly. He didn't know why he was acting this way.

He didn't know why he agreed to coming the next day.

"You can?!" Mr. G said incredulously when he told him. He'd come into Felix's classroom during lunch to pester him again, and Felix was grading papers in his chair.

"Is that so much of a surprise?"

"No, just, you didn't seem all that happy about going. Did I tell you? Marianne is coming, too!"

Miss Edmund coming did ease his nerves, a tad, so he wouldn't feel as much as a third wheel. Felix stupidly wondered what Mr. G's girlfriend looked like as he stepped up to the curb of the restaurant.

"Felix!" A voice called to him just as he was growing anxious. Felix spun around, greeted by a smiling Mr. G.

Mr. G was wearing a t-shirt and rolled up jeans, accompanied with a nice jacket. Felix hated to admit it, but he looked.. good.

Felix looked down at his own tucked in button-down and black jeans, feeling a tad overdressed. He put his hands into his pockets to keep from fidgeting with them, and stepped a tad closer to Mr. G.

"Hey,” he greeted.

"I'm glad you came." Felix opened his mouth to respond, but Mr. G put his hand on the small of his back, and Felix's words were quickly swallowed. "Marianne is already here, this way."

Mr. G led them through the restaurant, painfully close to Felix.

"Hey, Mr. Hugo. Sylvain." Ms. Edmund greeted casually when they got to their booth.

Felix froze in his tracks, Mr. G's hand pressing into his back. "Sylvain?"

Mr. G thankfully moved his hand, and instead clapped it on Felix's shoulder. "Believe it or not, Felix, some people aren't as stuck up as you."

_Yeah, of course I knew that.. but_ _ Ms. Edmund? No, we’ve been calling each other by our last names since he was hired, and she never once made a big deal about it._

Mr. G slid into the booth next to Ms. Edmund, patting the seat next to him for Felix to take. Felix stubbornly sat across from him.

Felix hated that he still remembered, but glanced around the table at the three of them. "Where's—?"

Mr. G quickly cut him off, though Felix wasn't sure if he was doing it intentionally or not. "Ingrid will be here soon, work ran late."

There was comfortable silence for a moment as they watched one of the televisions, then Ms. Edmund spoke up. "Sylvain, congratulations on the win Tuesday. I wasn't able to make it, but the choir kids told me it was a great one."

"Thanks, Marianne. And, yeah, they did a great job! They're super good kids, it's got nothing to do with me." Mr. G was fiddling with a spare napkin.

Ms. Edmund continued, though. "No, before you were hired, the teams weren't all that great. The kids really respect you, I think."

"Are you trying to make me blush? Marianne, you flirt,” Mr. G winked, which made Ms. Edmund's cheeks grow crimson.

"Ah—no, that wasn't my intention."

"I liked it, it's a different side of you," Mr. G hummed. "And your hair looks beautiful down, don't you think, Felix?"

Felix almost gagged, he could hardly stand to watch. _Doesn’t this man have a girlfriend?_

Just as the thought entered his mind, a blonde woman appeared beside them, and slid into the booth next to Mr. G as she began speaking. "Sorry I'm late," she said, and offered Felix and Ms. Edmund an apologetic smile.

Mr. G put his arm around the woman's shoulders, which she quickly shoved off. _Kind of.. weird, but maybe she doesn’t like showing affection in public?_

Mr. G spoke as if nothing had happened. "Felix, Marianne, this is Ingrid."

Ingrid shook both of their hands. She was much more polite than Mr. G; Felix began wondering how the two ended up together.

"Sylvain has told me so much about you two,” she said after she'd gotten settled in her seat.

Felix opened his mouth to speak, but Mr. G cut him off again. "All good things, don't worry."

Ingrid glanced at Felix, her expression turning playful. "Well, mostly."

Felix didn't like the implication.

"So, Felix," Ingrid said, "You're an English teacher?"

"Yes. I teach AP classes, mostly.”

"I don't think I could handle being a teacher," Ingrid laughed, but Mr. G shook his head. "But it sounds interesting."

"Don't lie to him, Ingrid. It sounds boring." Mr. G was clearly teasing to get a kick out of Felix, but Felix couldn't just let it go.

"It's really not," Felix scoffed. "English is a great subject. You seem like the type of kid that would answer 'lunch' when asked your favorite subject in school."

Mr. G suddenly sounded serious, leaning back in the booth. "I was a big fan of math."

"No!" Ingrid turned to Felix. "He's lying. You're right on the money, he said that all the time."

Ms. Edmund giggled, taking a sip of her drink to stifle the sound.

Felix had to ask, though. "You went to school together?"

"Ingrid and I grew up together," Mr. G answered, though the question had been directed at Ingrid. He changed the subject. "Felix also sings."

"I do no—"

"Oh wow!" Ingrid interrupted. "I'd love to hear you."

The waitress, thankfully, saved Felix by taking their orders and giving them their drinks. The four of them chatted politely for a while. Felix felt he needed to thank Mr. G for inviting him, so he flashed him a smile smile when Ms. Edmund and Ingrid weren't looking. Suddenly, Mr. G stood, then stated, "I'm going over to the bar."

And, okay, it stung a little. He decided he was never doing that again.

"Have fun..?" Ingrid sounded a tad confused.

Once Mr. G had left, Felix debated asking the question that had been plaguing his mind for a week now.

"Ingrid?" Well, it was now or never.

"Yes?"

Felix swallowed. "How long have you been together?"

Ingrid smiled politely. "Pardon?"

Felix blinked. "How long have you and Mr— uh, Sylvain been together?"

"Like.. as friends?" Ingrid asked, confused. Felix suddenly felt like he had just said something he wasn't supposed to.

"Uh.. I mean, like.." Felix trailed off, feeling incredibly embarrassed.

"We're not dating."

"Oh—pardon me. He said.." Felix trailed off.

"He said? What did he say?"

Felix wasn't sure whether or not he should answer that, but his silence seemed to answer Ingrid's question.

"Excuse me, both of you." Ingrid slid out from the booth, glancing across the bar for Mr. G. Once she spotted him, she walked over to him, and fiercely spun him around. Felix had to admit it, she looked scary. 

However, Mr. G didn't look fazed at all, only confused as she continued lecturing him.

Felix didn't know what they were saying, but at one point, Ingrid pointed to where Felix was sitting. He quickly looked towards Miss Edmund, not wanting to look as if he'd been watching them.

Ms. Edmund, apparently, had done the same, as their eyes met when they turned to each other. Felix laughed.

"I wonder what that's all about,” Ms. Edmund said.

"I.. don't really know."

"I thought they were together, too, if it's any consolation. Sylvain told me he was bringing his girlfriend and Fe— oh, I'm sorry." Ms. Edmund's cheeks reddened in embarrassment. "Mr. Hugo."

Felix hesitated. "Felix is fine... Marianne."

Marianne smiled. "_Felix_. He said his girlfriend and Felix."

"Do you think he knows?"

Marianne looked over to the two of them. Ingrid seemed to have given up on lecturing him, or had actually gotten through to him, as they were standing in line together. "I have no clue."

When Felix didn't reply, Marianne changed the subject. "How do you think Hairspray is coming along? The students apparently really liked you teaching Without Love."

It was so _weird_, hearing Marianne tease him. Maybe Mr. G was a little right, Felix kind of liked this. Whatever it was.

"I'm very proud of them." Felix smiled. "And, hey, they learned it. That's all that matters, right?"

"I guess," she laughed, but her expression suddenly turned serious. "Hey, Felix?"

"Yes?"

"Do you remember when you asked me what the other teachers were saying about you?"

He nodded, stomach twisting in knots.

"I didn't say anything back then because I don't think that any of it is true. I wanted you to know that." Marianne sighed, clicking her nails on her glass. "They say that you're strict, and weirdly obsessed with wanting to stay professional—"

"Wow, thanks."

"I'm not done yet," she snapped, using her teacher voice on him. "—but, they only think that because you push them away. I think.. I think Sylvain has gotten you to come out of your shell a little bit, whether you want to admit it or not."

Felix shook his head. "No, he certainly has not."

"We both know you wouldn't have come if you'd been asked out last year."

_Yeah, maybe she was right. But had it really been because of Syl— Mr. G?_ Felix glanced over to the bar unintentionally, watching Mr. G and Ingrid chatting playfully as they waited.

"I saw you two dancing."

Felix ripped his eyes away from the two at the bar, whipping his head towards Marianne.

"Huh?"

Marianne was smirking. "Someone in your show recorded it."

"Who?" He demanded. Marianne laughed, a bell-like sound.

"That wasn't the point." Marianne shifted in her seat, stretching a little. "Anyway, I brought it up because I know for a fact you wouldn't do that with any other teacher. Clearly Sylvain has something to do with your change, hm?"

"How much have you had to drink?"

"You're changing the subject."

Felix didn't respond. She was right, though he wasn't going to admit it. Besides, Mr. G and Ingrid were returning to the table with drinks.

They slid into the booth in silence.

"You guys okay?" Marianne asked, a tad timidly.

Ingrid crossed her arms over her chest. "We got it worked out. He's a dumbass."

Felix didn't know what _that_ meant. Mr. G didn't look remotely sad enough for a person that just got broken up with, so Felix didn't believe that was the case.

_So what the fuck else could it have been?_

Marianne saved them. "Ingrid, where do you work?"

They continued chatting, downing more and more drinks as the night went on.

Felix realized he was actually having fun. Never in the three years had he been at the high school would he ever think to come out like this, and never had he been more wrong. That, and, he might've had a little too much to drink.

"Tell us the most embarrassing story about Mr. G." Felix pointed to Mr. G, and Ingrid giggled.

"Oh, I have so many!"

"No! And it's Sylvain, I told you!" _Sylvain_ protested, clapping his hand over Ingrid's mouth. "You guys don't _seriously_ want to know—INGRID!" Sylvain frantically wiped his palm on his jacket. While he was distracted, Ingrid continued.

"One time he peed his pants on the last day of his job—and one time his crush asked him out and he just gave him a high-five and never spoke to him again—oh! And one time—"

_Him_?

"Enough!" Ingrid opened her mouth to challenge him, but Sylvain spoke over her. "Unless you want me to tell them about Dedue."

"Dedue?" Marianne asked.

Ingrid's cheeks turned pink. When she spoke again, her voice was a tad shaky. "Marianne, do you have any stories about Felix?"

Felix took a sip of his drink. Of course she didn't, Felix hadn't really had fun like this with her until tonig—

"I heard that he had sex with Mr. Aegir in the janitors closet last year."

Felix choked, water spilling out of his mouth and onto the table and without warning. All eyes went to him as he started coughing up a fucking lung, and only Marianne had the heart to pat him on the back a few times. She handed him a spare napkin as she spoke, her cheeks turning red. "It's just a rumor, though. I don't know why I said that."

"Is it true?" Ingrid and Sylvain asked excitedly.

"Hell no," Felix coughed.

Marianne seemed regretful. "I don't think it's true, I just—"

Ingrid cut her off. "Rumors have to start somewhere, no?"

"Whoah, good for you." Sylvain held up his hand for a high-five, which Felix ignored. "How'd he get you to agree? Was it just a moment of passion?"

Felix's cheeks were beet red, he was fucking sure of it. No, it wasn't true, he hadn't been with anyone in an embarrassingly long amount of time, and it most certainly wasn't in the janitors closet. Felix didn't feel like discussing that with them, though.

"It's not true."

"Aw, he's blushing!"

"He's modest."

Marianne offered him an apologetic smile.

It wasn't long after that when Felix decided that it was getting late. He called himself an Uber, and excused himself from the table.

"You didn't have to come, you know,” Felix said as he stood on the curb with Sylvain, who insisted on waiting for the car with him.

Felix's smile gave him away, though.

"You're nice to me when we're alone,” Sylvain said. It wasn't accusatory, just a simple statement without much thought behind it. Somehow, that made it sound more insulting. "As nice as you can be."

Felix didn't reply. He wasn't really sure what Sylvain wanted to hear.

Sylvain continued. "You're not like this with anyone else, right?"

"What?"

Sylvain looked to the side, and put his hands into his pockets. "Just wondering."

Felix was lost. "I guess not."

"You should be, though. I like this side of you." _Sylvain had said the same thing to Marianne when he was flirting with her,_ Felix's brain stupidly supplied. "I know I shouldn't, but I kind of like being the only one, too."

Felix cursed the warmth on his cheeks for betraying him. "..I think you've had too much to drink."

"Probably," Sylvain shrugged. "I just want you to know."

"You're different around Ingrid, too,” Felix said, only a tad defensively.

"How so?"

"You're like.." Felix wracked his brain for the right words to describe their dynamic. He was quickly reminded of when Ingrid licked Sylvain's palm. “Like brother and sister."

Felix didn't realize his poor word choice until Sylvain made a gagging face.

Oh, right. "Not a weird way," Felix scoffed. "Since you're, like.." he trailed off again.

"We're not dating."

Felix quickly looked to the ground. "Oh." He hadn't really wanted to talk about this in there, let alone right now. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

Felix met Sylvain's gaze, unsure whether he was fucking with him or not. "That you're not dating anymore..?"

Sylvain looked confused for a moment, then burst out laughing.

"What?" Felix demanded, the blush returning to his cheeks.

"We were never dating." Sylvain wiped a tear away. "She's my girl.. friend."

"I'm not following."

"Friend that is a girl."

Felix went silent for a moment, then let out a small chuckle. This somehow devolved into laughter, then doubled over, full belly laughter that went on for way longer than it should have. Sylvain joined in, too, and Felix was sure they looked like fucking idiots to anyone passing by, but he didn't care.

"Ingrid was right," Felix said in between breaths. "You are a dumbass."

"A handsome one, though, right?"

_Definitely not._

-

The next couple of rehearsals were a blur. Blocking was already finished, all of the songs were learned, all that was left was choreography and simply running it multiple times. Mrs. Arnault was happy to take over for the day as he sat in the auditorium and worked on grading papers, or at least try to.

Mr. G had a problem with sitting still.

Felix had always been aware of it, he supposed, in the back of his head. He'd play with the hammer when they built the set, tap his fingers against the doorframe, etcetera, but never had it been a problem until now. Mr. G actually sat by him now, for one, and bobbed his leg up and down the entire time.

"_Without love,"_ the kids on stage sang, with Mrs. Arnault clapping along.

Felix tried hard to concentrate on his papers, really, but the constant bobbing was so fucking distracting.

"_Like a week that's only Monday's.."_

He was going to murder him.

Felix's hand moved on its on accord—straight to Mr. G's bare thigh—apparently wanting to cease the distraction more than his common sense would allow. He was wearing those stupid short shorts, Felix realized all too late.

Mr. G's head whipped up to stare at Felix in bewilderment.

"Please stop." Felix ordered lamely, quickly letting go of his leg as a blush spread across his cheeks.

"What?" Mr. G asked.

"Bobbing your leg. It's annoying."

"I hadn't realized I was doing it,” Mr. G chuckled.

_Fucking finally._

The relief didn't last long, however, as Mr. G started doing it _again_ not even 5 minutes later.

"Please stop." Felix said through gritted teeth. Mr. G just seemed amused by it all.

"I'm nervous!" He said, though he did stop.

"Why the fuck would you be nervous?"

"Well, I'm sitting next to _you_."

Felix grimaced, his blush growing deeper. "Now you're just being vulgar."

It didn't mean anything. Just Mr. G being Mr. G, and Felix hated it.

-

"Mr. Hugo?" Someone called for him in the hallway the next day.

Felix turned around, spotting Mr. Aegir carrying a box full of what appeared to be clothing. Felix waited until he caught up with him.

"I've been looking all over for you, Mr. Hugo," Mr. Aegir started, flashing him a smile.

"Oh, really?"

Mr. Aegir placed the box he was holding at Felix's feet. "These are some costumes for Hairspray. Ms. Edmund said I should give them to you."

"Thanks,” he said, surprised.

Mr. Aegir seemed as if he was about to turn away, but stopped himself. "May I ask you a question, Mr. Hugo?"

Felix nodded.

"Well. The other teachers and I were wondering what Mr. G does,” Mr. Aegir said innocently. "We asked him, but he didn't really have a clear answer."

"I beg your pardon?"

"For the drama department's musical. Mrs. Arnault is the choreographer, Ms. Edmund is the music director, you're the director—what does Mr. G do?"

Felix almost laughed. He pondered the question for a moment, then found himself smiling. "He's our mascot."

"Mascot?" Mr. Aegir seemed confused. "Hm. Well.. I'll be there."

He walked away when Felix thanked him again, and just as he was about to turn the corner, Sylvain emerged from a nearby classroom.

Sylva—er, Mr. G pointed to the janitors closet, then to Mr. Aegir, and mouthed a 'wow.' 

Felix very nearly punched him.

Mr. G laughed, and casually slipped his hands in his pockets when he caught up to Felix. "You and that dude? Total catch, man."

"Were you eavesdropping?" Felix asked, ignoring the teasing.

"I didn't mean to." Mr. G at least had the social awareness to look embarrassed. "It just happened."

"How much did you hear?" Felix sighed, then picked up the box of costumes. He started walking towards to choir room, sure Mr. G would follow.

He did. "Enough to hear you call me a mascot. Where'd you come up with that one?"

"I don't know," he said as he turned the corner. "You cheer them on, and they like you."

"Can't you just call me your cheerleader, then?"

"No," Felix said bluntly as Mr. G held the door to the choir room for him. He went straight for the closet, trying not to interrupt class in Marianne's piano lab.

"Are the kids trying on costumes soon?" Mr. G leaned against the door for a moment, but thought better of it and started grabbing some spare hangers around the room. Felix did the same, and they both sat down on the floor to start sorting through the clothes.

"Yup. Saturday's rehearsal."

"You guys rehearse on Saturday?!"

Felix rolled his eyes. "You sit in on almost every rehearsal and you've never heard us say 'last Saturday's rehearsal'?"

"I'm a little distracted at some rehearsals,” Mr. G replied flirtily.

"Why?" Felix squinted his eyes at him. "What, because of Mrs. Arnault? She's married, you know."

"No—uh.." Mr. G looked embarrassed, maybe he hadn't known Mrs. Arnault was married. He picked up a yellow sweater from the box, changing the subject. "This could be good for Blake, huh?"

Felix thought about it for a moment, then nodded. "If it fits him, he can wear that in act 2."

They sat for a while, putting clothes on hangers in comfortable silence. Felix was reminded of the time they'd built the set together.

"What's your favorite song in Hairspray?" Mr. G asked, picking up an ugly dress to hang.

"My favorite..?" Felix hadn't really thought about that. The best written, his favorite to watch, or his favorite to listen to? They were all different, how could he choose?

"Mine is You Cant Stop The Beat," Mr. G said without waiting for an answer. He probably knew Felix was overthinking it anyway.

"Why?"

"It's fun." Is all he said.

"It _will_ be fun when they learn the words to it," Felix sighed. "I think my favorite is I Know Where I've Been."

For that song, Nyla, who played Motormouth, started off the piece on her own. Slowly, everyone else on stage joined in, coming up to the center in a semi circle. The other ensemble members trickled on as the song went on, singing together as well. They all held hands, standing still as they sang to the audience. It was an incredibly powerful number that very nearly moved Felix to tears the first time he heard Nyla sing it.

It also helped that the kids didn't have to dance and could actually singing like they were supposed to.

"Ooh, that's a good one. I'm sticking with the finale, though."

They were both silent again. They finished fairly quickly, Felix supposed he'd never let anyone else help him in the past. _Speaking of help.._

"Do you want to come to rehearsal on Saturday?" Felix asked as he hung the last dress. "It starts at 9."

Mr. G looked surprised. "Really? You want me there?"

"Yes," Felix said after a moments hesitation. He quickly decided it sounded too genuine, and added, "The kids need their mascot, don't they?"

-

Felix drowsily pressed the button on his alarm clock, and slowly sat up in his bed. He was fine getting up for school this early, but Saturday was a different story.

7, the clock blinked, almost mocking him. He rubbed his eyes with a groan.

He wouldn't necessarily call himself a morning person, to put it nicely.

Mr. G, on the other hand, seemed to be the complete opposite.

Felix rolled up to the school with his coffee in hand, hair splayed messily across his shoulders, and dark eye bags around 8. Mr. G was waiting patiently at the doors, hands stuffed into his jacket.

"How long have you been here?" Felix asked him after he'd parked his car. He felt a tad embarrassed about his hair, he didn't think anyone else would be here.

Mr. G flashed him a smile. 

"Not long,” he said, but his chattering teeth and hunched over posture said otherwise. Felix unlocked the door without another word, too tired to tease him. Mr. G quickly followed him in.

”I'm excited,” he grinned as they walked to the auditorium together. "What's the schedule for today?"

Felix took a long swig of his coffee. "We're piecing the show together so we can run full acts on Monday and Tuesday. Then costumes."

Mr. G paused for a beat too long.

Felix looked up to see what he was doing, and caught him staring at Felix's hair. Felix self-consciously tucked a strand behind his ear.

"Your hair looks nice like that." His voice was soft, seemingly genuine, and he was smiling. Felix noticed for the second time that he wasn't very good with taking compliments. Especially _Sylvain's_ compliments.

_Er—Mr. G._ God, this coffee was making his heart race. 

"Oh, Mr. Hugo?" A voice called in a singsong manner. Mrs. Arnault pushed open the doors with a grin, which faltered for a split second when she noticed Mr. G. "And Sylvain?"

"Dorothea,” he smiled, yet it wasn't the same soft smile he'd used on Felix. It was as if his whole demeanor changed around 1 pretty girl.

Felix left Mr. G's side, allowing them to talk on their own, and got to work on making the props backstage. Marianne joined them not so long after, but she stuck by Felix's side instead of joining the other two's conversation.

"Good morning,” she greeted. She looked just as tired as he did, which was a tad comforting.

"Morning,” he said, and pulled his hair up into a bun.

The students trickled in after that, each of them with varying degrees of tiredness. Felix decided he wouldn't push them _too_ hard, he could be lenient for today. This thought quickly changed when it hit 9 and only about 35 of them were there.

"Where is everyone?" His voice boomed as he stood on stage.

Nobody answered. He'd specifically told them to be there _on time,_ as they were starting at 9 _exactly_.

"Places for Act 1,” Felix called as he went down the steps, taking his usual seat in the auditorium. The kids timidly walked up the steps, and Mr. G took a seat beside him. Marianne sat down on the other side of Felix and, surprisingly, Mrs. Arnault sat next to Marianne.

The show started out fine, Good Morning Baltimore has always been good, and Nicest Kids in Town was okay. A few of the council members forgot the choreography, but Mrs. Arnault called it out for them, and they picked it up from there. Mama I'm A Big Girl Now was lacking, but I Can Hear the Bells picked it up again. Then, everything started going downhill. Nobody remembered the choreography for Miss Baltimore Crabs, and Mrs. Arnault couldn't help if they forgot the entire thing. It Takes Two was.. better, but nobody sang at all in Welcome To The 60's. Up until then, the lines had been mostly memorized, yet there was a couple scenes where everybody paused and looked out at him.

"Line?" Julien called, who played Edna.

"I'm not helping you with lines anymore,” Felix replied. Yes, a tad harsh, but they opened in.. _god, 2 weeks._ He sunk lower into his chair.

Run and Tell That was awful, but thankfully Nyla saved all their asses in Big, Blonde, and Beautiful. Mr. G clapped for them when they finished, Felix did not.

"Notes. Come out to the front of the stage," Felix called. Suddenly, something soft touched his arm. He instinctively moved away from it before realizing it was Mr. G's hand.

"Go easy on them,” he said, his voice barely a whisper. "We have an Act 1."

Felix stood, not really understanding what Mr. G was asking of him. They had been late, barely any of them had studied, none of their lines were..

_But we have an Act 1._

Felix took a deep breath, and walked up to the stage. The kids looked a little bashful, at least.

"I'm sure you all know what I'm going to say. Practice. Please, please, _please_, practice. Your lines, your choreography, your vocals. We have exactly 2 weeks left. 14 days. If that doesn't make you nervous, I don't know what will." A few of them looked to the side, others laughed nervously to their friends.

Felix begrudgingly continued. "But, this was our first time running it, so I will give you that." He resisted the urge to turn to look at Mr. G. "We _do_ have an Act 1, now."

The kids looked confused, Kate especially. He supposed he'd never been this lenient on Saturday rehearsals, but.. he couldn't really think of an excuse.

"Alright—starting from Good Morning Baltimore. Julia, try to get down the stairs quicker, and.." he continued on, through all the songs and scenes, mostly trying to erase what he'd said earlier. The cast nodded when he pointed something out instead of getting mad, which he was thankful for. "We're gonna run it again. Ms. Edmund, can you go over the vocals for Welcome To The 60's and Mama I'm A Big Girl Now?"

Marianne nodded, and sat down at the small keyboard placed next to the stage. Mrs. Arnault followed. The kids in those numbers gathered around her, and the ones that weren't stayed planted on the stage.

"If you're not in those numbers, what do you think you should be doing?" Felix asked sternly. The rest of them scrambled to the back foyer, presumably working on the dances. He took a seat with a huff, pushing stray stands of hair out of his face. "Don't say a word." He said when Mr. G opened his mouth.

Mr. G laughed. "Was that your try at being nice?"

"They know how I feel about them. I'm just pushing them so this show can be great." He didn't know why he was trying to justify himself, this had always worked in the past.

"I don’t think they do." Mr. G quieted his voice when Marianne started playing the piano. "Blake was flawless, though."

"You're biased." Felix said, but once again, his smile gave him away. Blake _did_ know all of his lines, and most of the dances. "Most of the leads were good. But they can be great."

"I help him with his lines, you know." Mr. G admitted.

"Really?" Felix asked, surprised. Now that he mentioned it, he really could see a bit of Mr. G in Blake's Link. Especially in the way he delivered the "_Excuse me, little darlin', I hope I didn't dent your 'do."_ line. The only difference is that Blake's Link was actually.. suave. Felix laughed a little. "I can see that."

Mr. G sighed, stretching out in his seat a little. "When's lunch?"

"After we run Act 1 again." 

And so they did. 

"Marginally better." Felix told them, the gestured to the cafeteria. "You can go eat, now."

Felix sat at the far end of the cafeteria table after he'd gotten his food, and eventually Marianne, Mrs. Arnault, and Mr. G joined him. They'd always eaten separately in years past, but Felix would be lying if he said he didn't like eating together. He loved it, actually. They were incredibly fun to be around.

"We're doing costumes after this, right? How were you planning on doing that?" Mrs. Arnault asked him, taking a sip of the soda a parent had donated.

"Mr. G and I can take the boys, and you two can take the girls. I trust you both to decide what's good enough, I think." Marianne and Ms. Edmund seemed happy to help, but Mr. G protested on the name.

"_Sylvain_."

Felix rolled his eyes.

Act 2 was better than Act 1. This was partly because most of the songs were solos, and the ones that weren't were actually pretty solid. Everyone messed up the words in You Can't Stop The Beat, though, which was to be expected. Felix gave them another lecture on practicing, and then it was time for costumes.

He and Mr. G wheeled the rack of boys costumes into the band room, and left the girls the choir room. 

Surprisingly, Felix actually had fun. Mr. G was incredibly picky when it came to outfits, and it made Felix laugh.

“No,” he’d shake his head, “try this instead.”

And, even more surprisingly, his suggestions were actually good. Felix had never liked picking out costumes for everyone, and this year he didn’t really have to.

When Blake came out wearing the yellow sweater Mr. G had picked out the other day, Mr. G nodded. “Perfect.”

Blake seemed ready to protest, but one look from Mr. G told him otherwise. _Who’s mean now?_

Mr. G and Felix finished much quicker, but that was partly because there were less boys than girls.

Now, they were sitting in the tech booth together. Felix was figuring out lights, and Mr. G was just watching. As usual.

Mrs. Arnault would sometimes bring Julia, Kate, or Nyla out with his opinions on their outfits, but Mr. G would answer for him. Felix didn’t protest. He was much better at this than he was.

“White or pink for the bump in I Can Hear The Bells?” Felix asked around 3 o’clock. The kids were just now starting to leave, but Felix assumed he’d be here for a little while working on the lights.

“Blue.”

Felix set them to blue. He had to admit it, it did look better than white or pink.

“Good, right?” Mr. G gloated. “I know the feeling of being in love.”

Felix nearly snorted. “Really? You just picked a color, don’t kid yourself.”

“I’m going to head out, okay, Felix?” Mrs. Arnault suddenly appeared behind them.

His next words slipped out without any thought. “Thanks for coming, Dorothea.” The two in the room immediately looked to him, to which Felix ducked his head in embarrassment. “I didn’t—“

“Yeah.” Dorothea said. “See you around, Felix.”

“You call her by her first name but not me?” Mr. G asked when she left. His posture suggested casualness, but there was a hint of vexation in his tone. It was the first time Mr. G had actually gotten _frustrated_ with him, even if it was only a little bit, and it was.. weird.

Of course, he couldn’t let Mr. G know he thought that. “It slipped out.”

The playful tone immediately returned, almost as if it had never been gone in the first place. “I’ll get you to say it one of these days.”

-

"A sit probe?"

“A sitzprobe.” Felix corrected, pointing to the auditorium seat as if he were directing a child. “Sit down. Marianne is taking over today.”

“What’s that?”

Felix took the seat next to him, glancing over at Marianne and the rest of the band in the pit. Marianne was the only person he really knew, the rest were band kids that never took choir. The entire Hairspray cast was sitting on the stage, waiting on their directions from Marianne.  
  
“It’s like.. the first rehearsal the cast has with the orchestra. You basically just sing through the show with them.”

Mr. G didn’t look too happy. “So no show today?”

“No show today.” Felix repeated.

They had 12 days left.

Day 11 was spent running Act 1 as many times as the could, and day 9 was for Act 2. Day 8, they ran the show once, and then came the morning of day 7.

It was the first dress rehearsal. They had another student on lights, so Felix could actually pay attention today, and the thought made him a little sick.

“Places for Act 1.” He called after everyone had gotten their costumes on, and took a seat next to Mr. G and Dorothea in the auditorium. Yeah, he was nervous.

The curtains drew open. The first second of the show had most of the ensemble frozen in specific poses, and the costumes looked _amazing_, actually.

That’s where the compliments ended, though. By the time they’d gotten to Miss Baltimore Crabs, Felix felt a migraine coming on.

“Oh my god, how times have changed!” Kennedy sang, as none of the guys around her remembered the choreography.

_God.._

Suddenly, something touched his thigh. When he looked over in bewilderment, he saw Mr. G smiling at him, one hand on Felix's leg.

Felix suddenly realized he'd been bobbing his leg up and down the entire time.

Felix suddenly realized his face was hot.

Mr. G let go as quickly as he’d touched him, but once again, his touch lingered. Felix nearly spaced out the rest of the show, but managed to regain his attention when Julien missed his entrance due to a quick change.

“What have I been saying to you all this entire time? You have to be aware everything else on stage. I can’t help you anymore.” He told them when they got finished. “Ms. Edmund, could you run over the words to You Can’t Stop The Beat with them?”

Felix let out a breath. It’s okay. They had 7 days.

Day 5 came. It was their first full dress and tech rehearsal, and Felix nearly lost sleep over it.

The show started out well, once again. Everything was so much better with microphones, and Act 1 was the strongest it had been.

He couldn’t say the same for Act 2, but they were improving.

“It was better today. Please keep working.”

Day 4, another tech and dress rehearsal. Another day of lost sleep.

Yeah, it was coming together, but was it quick enough? Felix didn’t have the energy to yell anymore.

After a particularly bad run-though, he paused for a moment as the kids caught their breath after the finale. “Go easy on them.” Mr. G said.

So, Felix stood. “Notes." He said for the 100th time.

He thought about Mr. G’s words. Again, he didn’t have the energy, so it couldn’t hurt to try, right? He didn’t know what he was thinking, but Felix lowered his clipboard of nitpicks.

"Let me start off with the good things." Some of the students chuckled, others blinked at him, confused. Felix continued. "Blake, It Takes Two is phenomenal, and it makes me smile every time I see it. You are such a talented young man, please never forget it.

"Julia, your energy is unmatched. You're ready to work the second your feet touch the stage, throughout the entire show, and I can't imagine how draining it is. I've noticed. You're doing an amazing job, and I'm incredibly proud of you.

"Nyla, your voice is beautiful. I think you might be one of the most talented kids I've ever worked with, and I know you're going places.

"Kate, you are an incredible Penny. I love having you in my productions and I always will; I’m going to miss having you around.

"Abigail, I know it may seem like you're stuck in the background, but I notice you every time you walk on that stage. I notice your smile, all the hard work you're putting in, and the energy that seems to exude from you.”

Felix went on. For each and every cast member, he said the things he never did, what he'd always assumed they knew.

“You can do better. I know you can do better.” Felix lifted up his clipboard again, and listed off the things he written down during the run-through. Everyone was silent. “Go change, then go home and get some rest.”

The kids silently stood, and started talking off their microphones. Some of them whispered to each other, but Felix didn’t really care. Mr. G came up to him at the front of the stage with a big grin on his face.

“You did it! You actually did it.”

Felix looked to the side, clutching his clipboard tighter. “We’ll see if it works.”

“And the Grinch’s small heart grew three sizes that day..”

Felix punched him in the arm.

-

Well. 

Felix hated to admit it, but day 2 and 3 were the best times they’d ever done the show. Mr. G gloated to him the entire time they watched.

“Wow. The lift was surprisingly good.”

“They remembered the choreography!”

“You can actually hear the harmonies.”

“They look so happy, don’t they?”

Felix wanted to punch him again.

But, no, that didn’t mean he was right.

-

The day finally came.

He hadn’t gotten a lick of sleep, and arrived at the school around 4, despite the show being at 7.

Marianne and Dorothea arrived around 5, and mic check was at 5:30.

Blake came up to him afterwards so Felix could do his hair. He settled down in one of the chairs outside of the band room, where all the makeup and hair products were. Cast members ran around them as Felix picked up a brush. “Where’s Coach G?”

“Ah.. I’m actually not sure.” Felix said, as if he hadn’t been thinking that himself. He ran the brush through Blake’s hair.

“He’s coming, right?” There was a more of panic in his voice.

“I think so.” Felix reassured, really hoping he wasn’t lying through his teeth. 

Blake let out a breath. “Good. We need our mascot.”

Felix nearly dropped the hair gel. “What?”

“Oh, sorry. It’s kind of an inside joke. Mr. Aegir called him our mascot in calculus and everyone thought it was funny.”

Felix laughed. “Who’s coming to see you tonight, Blake?”

“My mom.” Blake said with a hint of uncertainty. Felix didn’t comment on it.

“That’s great.” Felix slicked Blake’s hair back. “You nervous?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s okay to be a little nervous. That’s what pushes us to do our best.” He said softly, as one of the girls in the bathroom nearby started yelling about her makeup.

“You’re cool, Mr. Hugo.” Blake suddenly sat up a bit.

“Thanks..?”

-

“Everyone out to the back foyer.” Felix called, and led the entire cast out to the foyer at around 6:30. Mr. G was still nowhere to be found.

Felix made them all stand in a circle, with him in the center. This was a tradition he’d done for all three years he’d directed.

“Close your eyes.” He told them. “Hold out your hands in front of you.” They did as they were told.

“I want you to imagine you’re holding a bowl. Now, take all your stress, your fears, your anxieties, and put them into your bowl.” Felix looked around the circle. “And keep your eyes shut.”

They did so. Some kids only had one or two, others had multiple things they dumped into their bowls.

“Now, I want you to think about your character’s bowls. What do they have in them? How would they carry it?” He gave them a few moments to think about it.

“I’m taking these away now.” Felix said as he mimed taking away their bowls, one by one, as he went down the circle. “All of your stress is in my hands tonight, you can get them back at the end of the show.”

He took his place in the center of the circle again. “Okay. Open your eyes.”

-

“Do you know where Mr. G is?” Felix stopped Marianne as she was about to take her place at the piano.

“No, I’m sorry.” She said. “We’ve got 15 minutes left, though. I’m sure he’ll be here.”

Felix sighed. “Yeah. Blake’s worried.”

“And you’re not?” Marianne asked, with a hint of amusement in her voice.

“What do you mean?”

“You two have gotten pretty close, huh?”

Felix didn’t have time to ask what she meant, as he was being dragged away by yet another set problem.

-

Felix entered his empty classroom without switching on the lights, leaning against his desk with a sigh. He was nervous, like every year.

The kids could manage for a few minutes, right?

"Felix?" A voice came from the door.

"You came." Felix smiled, already knowing who it was.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." Mr. G chuckled lightly as he walked towards him. Felix finally registered that he was wearing a tux.

He actually cleaned up nice. Like, _real_ nice. Unfairly nice. So nice that Felix didn't even think about how this was a school musical and nobody really dressed up for these.

"You look good." The words tumbled out of his mouth without any thought.

"Why, thank you." Mr. G laughed, and Felix felt the only word to describe it was handsome. Handsome was something he'd always thought of Mr. G as, (though only in the back of his head) but today it felt as if he was actually admitting it. "So do you, but.."

"But what?"

"Your collar is all fucked up. Come here." Mr. G said, and reached out with zero hesitation. Felix tried rising from leaning on the desk, but found he couldn't move a muscle. Mr. G gently pulled him up by his collar, and for a moment, he felt faint.

Mr. G’s fingers grazed his neck as he fixed it, his expression uncharacteristically concentrated. Felix swallowed; the slight brushes of contact were almost _maddening_. He felt as if his whole body was on fire, scarring deeper with every touch, though he couldn't pinpoint why.

Mr. G’s hands stilled when he met Felix's gaze, their faces inches apart. He looked so.. normal? It was if his mask had been taken off; he wasn't smirking or fake flirting, just.. looking. Looking at _him_, at Felix, with a softness in his eyes that made him shiver.

"Sylvain." Felix murmured, his breath caught in his throat, for no reason at all. The name sounded foreign on his tongue, though he had already thought of him as Sylvain a while now.

"That’s right." He said back, with a hint of amusement in his voice. There was another beat of silence, and Felix realized how much he _longed_ to close the gap between them. 

It didn't help that Sylvain's expression just seemed to scream, "try it." 

_Fuck_, he _needed_ it. He just had to lean forward a few inches, and he could finally run his fingers through his stupid, stupid hair, and know how he tasted.

"I.." Felix trailed off. He didn't know _what_ he even wanted to say, just that he needed Sylvain's mouth on his right now.

"Hmm?" Sylvain hummed softly.

"Sylvain—"

Sylvain's mouth was already on his before he could finish. It was a soft, gentle, kiss that Felix barely had any time to register before Sylvain was pulling away. Felix didn't give him the chance, though, as he dug his fingers into Sylvain's collar and pulled him back before he could even look up at him. It took a second, but suddenly, Sylvain was kissing him back.

It was fucking maddening, and absolutely nothing like Felix had expected it to be. Sylvain kissed him slowly, yet desperately, like the rushing shore on a beach. He placed one of his hands on Felix's hip, and the other cupped his cheek. Felix couldn't explain why he kissed him with the same desperation, why he fucking _whimpered_ into Sylvain's mouth, why he— why he.. why he was doing this?

Oh, fuck.

Felix suddenly pulled away, heart beating out of his chest.

"You okay?" Sylvain asked, his breath hot against Felix's lips.

Fuck. 

"Mr. Hugo?!" Julia came bursting through the door, and suddenly Sylvain's hands weren't on him anymore. Julia didn't seem to notice, because she continued without pause. "We can't find Blake!"

"What?!" Sylvain exclaimed, because frankly, Felix felt a tad dizzy.

-

They looked around the dressing rooms, the bathrooms, called his cellphone, and checked the exits all in silence.

"Blake—?" Felix and Sylvain swung open the door to the final exit, finding the boy sitting by himself on the steps, his back to them. Blake didn't turn around, only sniffled and wiped his face.

Felix stepped forward to comfort him, but Sylvain put a hand on his shoulder before he could get anywhere.

Sylvain moved past him and took a seat next to Blake. Felix fell back into his spot next to the door, deciding that Sylvain might actually have this one covered.

"Hey, buddy." Blake sniffled again, and Sylvain reached out to wipe his tears away. He chuckled softly, and said, "You'll smudge your makeup."

"My mom can't make it." Blake shuffled closer and put his head on Sylvain's shoulder, another sob escaping him. Sylvain sighed, put an arm around Blake's shoulders, and gave him a gentle squeeze. "She never made it to any of my games, but I thought this would be different."

"I'm sorry, Blake." Sylvain rested his head atop Blake's. "Now I know I don't compare to your mom at all, but, I've been to every single one of your games. You're incredibly gifted, did you know that? Anyone that's been around you for longer than 30 seconds should know that, and sooner or later your mom will see it, too. Mr. Hugo and I are going to be watching you out there, cheering you on every step of the way."

Felix nodded, but quickly realized Blake couldn't see him.

Sylvain let go of Blake's shoulders, and gestured to the doors. "Now, go and fix your makeup." 

Blake wiped the rest of his tears away, and flashed Felix a small smile. “I’m sorry I took my bowl back.”

Felix had to think about what he was talking about for a moment. “Huh? Oh. _Oh_, don’t worry about it, Blake.”

And once again, they were left alone.

Only this time, it was a hundred times more awkward.

"The show is about to start." Felix muttered, because that's all he could think to say. Sylvain made a humming sort of noise, but still stayed planted on the steps.

Felix was vaguely aware of cicadas in the distance, cars honking, people talking, yet never in his life had anything felt so quiet. Sylvain broke it after several minutes, his voice so unnaturally even, Felix wished he'd never broken it at all.

"Why'd you pull away?"

The stillness in the air after the question was asked made Felix's blood run cold. All of the words he wished he could've said sat stuck in his throat, choking him silently as he watched Sylvain's back. _Help me_, he silently begged. _Save me_. If Felix were on fire before, now he was drowning, clawing desperately to reach the surface.

That was the problem, though. Never in his life had he ever gotten close to the surface, and it seemed pointless to even try. He was in too deep.

He felt himself give up his struggle. He saw his hand reach out one last time; then everything went dark.

"I don't know."


	2. Chapter 2

Sweat slicked the microphone as Felix walked out in front of the curtain. The house was packed. Despite everything, a surge of pride welled up in his chest. 

"Hello. As some of you know, I'm Felix Hugo, the director of this wonderful show.."

The rest of the speech was kind of a blur. It was the classic no photography or videos speech, where he talked about copyright issues, how much work they put into the show, and stuff that happened at intermission.

It was a constant battle to stay focused; his eyes kept drifting to Sylvain. Sylvain, who looked handsome even in the darkness, his brain kept reminding him as he spoke. Fuck, he didn't mean it.

He settled himself in his seat next to Dorothea just as the curtains opened, determined to not think about the man sitting a few chairs over.

He didn't want to think about him. He couldn't, because if so he'd—

_Why did I kiss him? Why did I want to kiss him so badly?_

"_Oh, oh, oh, woke up today._." Julia sang, her smile bright. The ensemble members came to life.

_I was lonely, that's why. Sylvain is so forward, he was.. easy._

"_Feeling the way I always do_."

No, that wasn't it, and he fucking knew it. _There must be another reason—_

"_They seem to say: 'Tracy it's up to you_.'"

_Another reason? What else is there?_

"_I've got my hairspray and radio, I'm ready to go_!"

Felix managed to block out the rest of his thoughts and focus on the show for the next two songs. Speaking of, they were excellent. Nicest Kids In Town was completely bursting with energy.

"Excuse me, little darlin', I hope I didn't dent your 'do,” Blake smirked, raising Julia's chin a tad before he walked away. And, god, it was so much like Sylvain that Felix’s thoughts were again taken over by him.

_Ding._

Everything froze. Blue light washed over the stage.

_I kissed him because—_

"_I can hear the bells,_" Julia sang.

_Fuck_.

He was in love with Sylvain.

Unequivocally, embarrassingly, stupidly so. That's why he'd longed to kiss him, not because of some stupid excuse he kept making up to save face.

"_Well, don't ya hear 'em chime? Can't you feel my heartbeat.. keeping perfect time?_"

Felix nervously glanced over at Sylvain, whose eyes were glued to the stage. Yes, as much as he fucking loathed to admit it, he was in love with this man. Okay, yes, he'd agree, Sylvain was.. _attractive_—but Felix was actually in _love_ with him. His compassion for Blake, his flirty behavior, his _stupid_ short shorts.

And he had blown it the first chance he'd gotten.

Oh, fuck. They'd kissed. Like, actually kissed, and Felix had pushed him away like a dumbass. _Sylvain isn’t the dumbass, I am! Fuck!_

"_Oh my god, how times have changed! This girl's either blind or completely deranged.._!" 

_When had they gotten to this song?!_ Felix somehow pushed all of his other thoughts away and really focused on the show.

They were doing great. Amazing, even. Julia, as always, was bursting with energy, Kate was hilarious, the ensemble was smiles all around.

When the instrumental for It Takes Two started, Sylvain whistled.

Horrible theatre etiquette, but.. 

Felix let it slide. It made Blake happy, and besides, Felix didn’t have the guts to say anything to Sylvain about it.

_"They say it's a man's world, well that cannot be denied_.." Blake sang with the biggest smile on his face. Felix supposed never realized how strong the kid really was.

"_I'm your girl, you're my boy,” _Julia sang back, and sprung up from her chair to go to Blake. Suddenly she tripped, and for a moment Felix panicked, but she fell into Blake's arms. It looked good, even better than the original blocking, and Julia was smiling back at him with a big grin of her own. They danced together, and the kiss at the end wasn't as big a deal as they made it out to be.

Big, Blonde, and Beautiful was fantastic, The Big Dollhouse looked amazing, You're Timeless To Me had the crowd in tears, and Without Love was packed with energy.

Felix nearly cried when they got to I Know Where I've Been, as did most of the audience. He nearly cried again when they all got the words right to You Can't Stop The Beat, but that was only him.

Then, the music for the curtain call began. Felix was proudly the first to stand, and proud to be cheering for all of them the loudest, maybe only rival to _him_.

Blake and Julia waved their arms to the crowd to get them to stop after everyone had bowed, and Felix froze when Kate and Ben brought out 4 bouquets of flowers. Blake called into his microphone.

"Thanks for coming tonight, everyone! We just want to thank our wonderful choir director, choreographer, mascot," the crowd chuckled, "and our amazing director! Could Ms. Edmund, Mrs. Arnault, Coach G, and Mr. Hugo come up here, please?"

All three of them in the crowd made their way to the stage, and Marianne got up from her place at the keyboard.

Felix had to bite down tears as Blake handed him his bouquet, with the biggest smile he'd seen on him that night. Felix gave him a quick hug. 

"Thank you,” He said to him, to Julia, to Ben and Kate.

Felix was ready to admit that this was the happiest he'd been in years. _Yes_, he thought as the cast pushed them all into a group hug, _maybe I should tell them I appreciate them more often._

Maybe Sylvain was right, a little bit.

-

Ingrid came to see the show. Felix knew this, but she didn't speak to him afterwards. In fact, the only people to come up to him after the show were Dorothea and Marianne, both holding their bouquets with smiles on their faces.

Felix made sure to congratulate the cast, but afterwards he was ready to retire.

He wasn’t ready to face the revelation. Today had been the longest day of his life, and his bed seemed like the quickest escape from it.

_So what if I’m in... if I have feelings for him?_ He thought to himself as he snuck a glance at Sylvain after the show. Sylvain was standing in the area just outside the auditorium, chatting with Ingrid. She seemed angry, yet Sylvain’s expression was completely blank. Suddenly his eyes flicked to Felix’s. _That doesn’t change anything. It’s not like I have a chance._

Felix looked down. Sure, he’d definitely ruined their friendship and insured they’d never speak again, but Felix had been alone for so long before this. He could manage, right?

Though it was hard to deny that was almost sickening to think that he and Sylvain would never.. 

_Unless he feels the same? _A tiny voice in the back of his head supplied.

_No_, he thought immediately. _Well_..

He _had_ kissed him.

He was too tired for this.

-

Sylvain didn’t show up early the next day, which was to be expected, but still stung a little.

Felix helped Blake with his hair in relative silence, and simply stood off to the side during mic check and while the kids were putting on costumes. When there were 15 minutes left, they called them all into a circle backstage.

50 pairs of eyes looked back at him expectantly, eyes glittering happily with eye shadow and hope.

Blake looked a lot happier that night. Julia was as radiant as ever. Kate seemed determined. Nyla looked incredibly unfazed.

“I’m incredibly proud of the show last night, guys.”Kate laughed softly to the right of him. “No notes.”

“No notes?” Julia asked incredulously. Some of the other chorus members repeated the question around her.

Felix flashed them all a tired smile. “No notes.”

He did the whole “stress in the bowl” thing again, his brain finally somewhere other than Sylvain. Now it was on the children, the show, and the wonderful job they were doing. 

His focus remained on them until he had to do the curtain speech, when he noticed a familiar flash of red hair in the audience.

_No_, he thought fiercely, _focus on the show_.

He really tried.

The show was, again, spectacular. After seeing it for the second time, Felix was certain it was the best show they’d ever put on.

It was spectacular the next day, too. Save for the sneaking dread that he’d have to confront his feelings after the show ended, he did pretty well that night, too.

And yes, he nearly cried during their final “stress in the bowl,” but nobody needed to know that. It had been a stressful week and hearing all the seniors mourn their final show had not been good for his emotions.

They took down the set in about an hour, and all the cast headed down to a nearby restaurant to celebrate.

Well, except for Sylvain.

Felix went to bed early that night.

-

It seemed Felix was wrong on the whole “maybe he likes me back” account; Sylvain was doing everything in his power to avoid him at school.

When Felix walked into Marianne’s classroom, Sylvain would suddenly find an excuse to leave. He stopped popping into his classroom every day, and since Hairspray was over, Felix didn’t have the chance to talk to him during rehearsals anymore.

One day, Felix had been heading to the choir room to return a theatre rep book he’d borrowed. He stopped at the door, noticing Sylvain’s figure leaning in to Marianne’s office to chat. He was smiling, something Felix hadn’t seen in a week.

“I have to run,” he said suddenly, and Felix took this to mean that Sylvain had noticed him standing there. “See you, Marianne.”

He didn’t even look Felix in the eye as he began walking towards the door.

“You’re avoiding me,” Felix said suddenly.

Sylvain froze with his hand on the door. He didn’t turn to face Felix when he spoke, but when he did, his voice was steady, blank. “What do you mean by that?”

Felix stared at the back of Sylvain’s head, swallowing the lump in his throat. “Exactly what you think it means.”

Sylvain’s shoulders slumped. “Look, I—“ he turned to face him. It seemed the silence stretched on for miles. “I just.. got the wrong idea about.. us. I thought you wanted some space.”

Well, Felix wasn’t expecting that. He must’ve taken too long to stand in stunned silence, because Sylvain suddenly turned on his heel to walk out. Felix panicked, and quickly reached out for Sylvain’s hand. He didn’t know why he did it, but it certainly got Sylvain’s attention.

Felix opened his mouth to speak, to deny that he ever wanted to spend time apart from him, but again, no words would sound.

Felix guiltily let go of Sylvain’s hand.

“Can’t we be friends?” A voice—surely not his own—was asking the man he just realized was in love with if they could be friends.

Sylvain blinked, as if he’d been expecting a different answer. Quite frankly, Felix had been, too.

I can try.

"..Felix? _Felix_?"

"Huh?" Felix suddenly looked up from his bowl full of salad. Oh, right. He was eating lunch with Marianne, in her office. It had been a day since Felix had royally fucked up his “confession” to Sylvain. “What?"

Marianne sighed, and took a bite of her own food. She was sitting in her office chair, looking dainty as ever. "I _said_: what about Into The Woods?"

"For what?" Felix asked dumbly.

"For the musical next year,” Marianne said slowly. "You're really out of it today."

"Sorry,” he shook his head. "I'm just tired, I guess."

He knew Marianne would immediately catch onto the lie, but didn't have the energy to care.

_I can try._

The words echo in his head despite his longing to forget them.

_Really, what the fuck does that mean?_ He can try.. because he was disgusted Felix had kissed him? Or because he wants to be more than friends?

If only he’d _asked_ like a fucking normal person. Clearly, he couldn’t be trusted with words anymore.

He flipped through one of the theatre rep books just to do something with his hands, when a page caught his eye. The Color Of Your Eyes.

_What do I care if there's blue in his eyes..if someday you're looking into mine?_

Felix suddenly stood, startling Marianne.

"What's wrong?"

He had an idea.

"I'm going to write a love letter,” he announced. Marianne looked the most confused he'd ever seen her.

"What?"

-

Writing out your true feelings fucking sucked. Sure, it was loads better than confessing in person, but it was just.. so hard.

Felix trashed another letter.

No words could truly describe how he was really feeling. He was frustrated and regretful, he supposed, but that didn't sound too romantic when written.

_I suppose I fall in love with you a little more every day._

He blushed at the sudden thought. No, he couldn't write _that_, that's way too embarrassing.

Maybe he could start with the things he liked about Sylvain? He'd seen that in movies, right?

_Fire. Fire, I feel, is the only way to describe you. Your passion flickers and burns like.._

Way too flowery. Felix scrapped another piece.

He could start out with an apology..

_I'm sorry I ran away when things got hard?_ How would he even go about that? Felix paused for a moment, and scribbled something else on the paper.

_I'm in love with you._

Felix stared down at the 5 words, blush only deepening the longer he looked at them. He guessed he needed to see them in front of him for them to actually make an impact, but they were just too embarrassing.

_I'm deeply, deeply, enamored with you_. He wrote under it. Less embarrassing, yes, but still..

A knock at the door caused him to look up from his desk. For a moment he thought it was Sylvain, showing up to pester him as always. The thought was quickly squashed when Felix remembered the kiss they shared literally two feet away from where he was sitting.

When he looked up, he was met with Dorothea’s green eyes, who had walking towards him with a smile. Felix realized way too late that the paper in front of him still had the sinful words still written on them, and quickly tried to hide it when she stepped up to his desk. Dorothea was not a stupid woman, and when she caught the sudden movement, her smile turned playful.

"Is that to your secret someone? Felix—writing a letter to express his feelings!" Dorothea mused, "I never thought I'd see the day."

Felix blushed. "Who told you?"

"Marianne, of course,” she said, bringing up a chair to his desk. She sat down gracefully. "So? What have you got so far?"

Felix glanced at the paper under his hands. "Ah—nothing yet,” he lied.

Dorothea laughed. "Maybe you should write about what made you like him in the first place?"

Felix's head snapped up at her words.

"Oh—sorry. Or _her_. Didn't mean to assume." Dorothea said, then paused. "Come on—we both know I know who it is, though, right?"

A wave of panic surged through Felix's body. "You do?"

"I've only seen you flirt with one person in the entirety of the past 3 years, so yeah, I think I know who it is."

"I haven't flirted with anyone,” he mumbled stubbornly.

"Sure,” Dorothea said, and crossed her arms over her chest.

Felix opened his mouth to protest, do anything, but nothing came out. She _did_ know, and Felix was kidding himself if he thought otherwise. Instead, he mumbled, "What about it?"

Dorothea laughed in a triumphant sort of manner. "I knew it. You and Sylvain, hm? When did that happen?"

Felix's blush deepened. He could barely stand hearing it in his head, let alone out loud.

After a moment, he admitted, "He kissed me on opening night."

It sounded so childish, but felt so good to finally get off of his chest. It felt as if he was ridding himself of a secret he'd been keeping for years, though it had only been less than a week.

Dorothea paused, as if considering her next words. Then, she smirked. "Well?"

Felix threw away the paper under his hands. "Well, what?"

"How was it?"

It took Felix a moment to register her words, but when he did, he choked on his spit.

"H-How was.. I—! You can't just ask that!" Felix sputtered, glaring at her.

“It was worth a shot,” she giggled, shifting in her chair a bit. She glanced at his overflowing trash can. “If you want any help, I could—“

“Absolutely not. I don’t want anyone reading this except him.”

“I don’t have to _read_ it. Can I just give you some pointers?” Dorothea was almost begging now. It seemed she didn’t have any faith in Felix’s ability to be romantic.

She wouldn’t be wrong, though. Plus, she was actually married.

God, _marriage_. With _Sylvain_. How exasperating would that be? With him constantly teasing and flirting, and how he’d probably always be out of the house somewhere. But, he’d also be incredibly caring towards their kid or cat (though Sylvain would probably prefer dogs himself, the mutt) and stay up late to help with homework even if he didn’t understand it. He’d make fun of all the movies and books Felix enjoyed, but it would always be in good fun, and Felix would go to all of his games and try to learn the rules as it went on. They’d go to bed together, and Felix would wake up next to him and wonder—_fuck_, was he really this far gone?!

He quickly realized Dorothea was waiting for an answer. “I—uh.. fine,” He stammered out, sure his face was pink.

“Okay, it’s best to keep it simple. Tell him how he makes you feel, you know..”

Felix paused, staring down at the blank paper. It was almost daunting.

Then, the bell rang for the next period.

“When are you giving it to him?” Dorothea asked as she slid her chair back to its table. Students started trickling in as he pondered her question.

“Whenever I get the chance, I guess,” he finally responded, feeling more tired than ever.

“Well, it’s best to do it sooner rather than later,” Dorothea said as she began walking away. She waved to Kate as she passed her.

She was probably right.

-

She was probably right, but Sylvain was even harder to track down now.

If he was avoiding him before, he was downright shunning him now. So much for being friends, Felix couldn’t even _consider_ asking “how was your day?” before Sylvain was gone. He didn’t even come up with excuses anymore.

He could always leave the letter in his office, but the thought of not being able to be there scared him more than confronting him.

So, Felix did the only thing he could think to do.

Right after the last bell rang at 3:20, Felix stubbornly pushed open the gym doors, and plopped himself down on the bleachers. He clutched his letter tight in his fist, and watched Sylvain coach the kids as he waited.

It took Sylvain a while to notice he was there. Or maybe he knew the whole time, and was ignoring him again. When he finally did, he turned around slowly. The kids continued playing.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"It was the only way to get you to talk to me,” Felix replied, voice steady.

Sylvain laughed, but it wasn't his normal, carefree one. Felix decided he hated the noise.

"Okay." He said something to the kids, to practice on their own, maybe, but Felix wasn't listening anymore. _Okay_, he'd said _okay_. Felix clutched then letter tighter, suddenly feeling like this wasn’t a bad idea.

Sylvain glanced at him, then gestured for Felix to follow him to his office. Felix stood, a tad shakily, and caught up with him, suddenly forgetting how to walk.

He paused outside of Sylvain's office for a second, quickly reminded of their first meeting. Felix had changed so much.

He glanced at his letter, then Sylvain's back.

_But has it been enough?_

"Come in,” Sylvain said, teasing him a bit.

Well, that was good, at least. Felix stepped inside, and allowed Sylvain to shut the door behind him.

Sylvain's office was small, but cozy. His desk was messy, with papers scattered everywhere, and small knickknacks placed next to his computer. Next to his desk was equipment for gym, none of which had been put up correctly. Felix had a sneaking suspicion that was the students' doing, not Sylvain's.

And, in the middle of his desk, sat a Hairspray playbill, signed by every member of the cast. It made Felix's heart sting.

"What's up?" Sylvain asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"Oh, uh." The atmosphere of the room shifted, quickly turning awkward. Felix blurted the first thing he could think of. “I wanted to tell you that the cast party for Hairspray is this Saturday."

Sylvain blinked. "That's all?"

Felix swallowed the lump in his throat, clutching the letter so tight he was sure it would rip any second. He had been wrong, he couldn't do this. His heart sank as he muttered, "Yeah."

"Okay. I'll be there."

There was silence for a moment, and both of them tried to break it at the same time.

"Actually, I—"

"Is there anything e—"

They both stopped. When Felix didn't respond, Sylvain continued.

"Look, Mr. Hugo," Felix noticed the name change all too quickly, and another sting was sent to his heart. "I’ve been rejected before. Plenty of times, actually. You can stop.. trying to make up for it, if you feel guilty.”

It hurt, it really did. Felix had been in love before, many, many, years ago, but he had forgotten the pain having people in your life brought.

"That's not what I.. came here for."

"Oh? Is it to tell me what time the cast party starts?" Sylvain teased, yet the smile on his face didn't match his eyes.

"No," Felix said quickly. "It's at 4, though."

More silence. 

"What's that in your hand?" Sylvain asked, his voice the warmest it had been since they'd walked in. Maybe it was a good sign, but maybe it wasn't.

"Um." Felix had the sudden urge to crumple the letter up and run away, like always. Yet, he did not.

Instead, Felix opened his mouth, a sure sign of disaster. And a disaster it was.

“I don’t want to be your friend anymore.”

Sylvain blinked, confusion written all over his face. “Oh? Okay..?”

“No—I mean..” Felix handed him the partially crumpled letter instead of making matters worse. Despite his decision, Felix really regretted.. well, everything, really. What kind of weirdo writes a letter instead of just saying it in person? What if he said no? What if Sylvain had just been looking for a quick fuck and Felix had actually gone and caught feelings? What if—oh, god, he was reading it.

Sylvain's smile disappeared as his read on, and either time had stopped or Sylvain was an _incredibly slow_ reader. 

Felix crossed his arms over his chest—his only way of guarding himself—until Sylvain swallowed and lowered the paper.

It was silent, save for the distant squeaking of shoes and drumming of the ball on the court. Felix didn't breathe, he didn't move, every second made the ball of anxiety in his stomach writhe more.

Sylvain opened his mouth and Felix braced himself, but he quickly closed it again.

Sylvain was at a loss for words.

Not only that, but Sylvain's cheeks were flushed a beautiful shade of pink. Felix forgot where he was for a moment and reveled in the feeling of making _Sylvain_ feel _embarrassed_.

"Felix?" Sylvain asked, lifting the letter to his face with a confused look. Felix's heart skipped a beat. "What does enamored mean?"

"..huh?"

Felix nearly screamed—there was no fucking way. No fucking way Sylvain didn't know what enamored meant.

"I mean, I accept your apology, but '_Sylvain, I am deeply, deeply enamored with you_'.. what does that mean?"

Felix's cheeks flushed at the words. Sure, writing them had been embarrassing, but hearing them out loud was outright mortifying. He was so fucking done. "You know what it means,” He mumbled.

_Context clues! Just use context clues!_

"I really don't—hold on, I'll look it up.” Sylvain reached for his phone on his desk, but Felix quickly stepped in front of it.

"Wait!" He blurted. Forget changing, he wanted to die alone _far_ away from this school. If he ran now, how far could he get before Sylvain could look up the definition of enamored?

Why had he fallen for someone so stupid? Couldn't he have fallen for a college professor or something?

"Tell me what it means, then."

Fuck. "It means.." There was no getting out of this now, was there? Felix looked to the side, sure his face was bright red, and mumbled.

“To be.. in love with someone."

"What was that? I couldn't hear you,” Sylvain chuckled, then crossed his arms over his chest.

"To be in love with someone,” He said, a little louder.

"Hm?"

Felix nearly socked him right there. "It means to be in love with someone!"

Felix didn't know what he expected, maybe for Sylvain to gasp, to get angry, maybe even run away.. but not for him to _giggle_.

It took a second, but Felix eventually understood. "You—You! Fuck you!" He spat. Sylvain _was_ a dumbass, but a dumbass that at least knew what the word 'enamored' meant. The fucker.

Sylvain quickly sobered, placed the letter gently on his desk, and with a sigh he announced, "I just wanted to hear you say it."

It was Felix's turn to be at a loss for words. "I.." he started, but Felix was suddenly realizing how close Sylvain was to him. That might've been his fault, when he stepped in front of his phone, or maybe he'd gotten in his face when he was yelling. Whatever the reason, Sylvain was only a foot away from him.

Felix instinctively backed up into the shelf, his cheeks red. So, who cares what enamored means, what really mattered if Sylvain felt the same. He’d already made it this far. "..Well?"

“Well?” Sylvain repeated, as if taunting him.

Felix glared at him in response. He wasn’t falling for it this time.

"You should already know how I feel," Sylvain said, leaning closer. "I've been flirting with you the whole time."

Felix blushed deeper at the words. He knew Sylvain had been flirting, but hearing it being admitted to him... Felix felt weak in the knees. "You do that with everyone, though."

"No I don't," Sylvain protested.

Felix hadn't really expected him to disagree, especially with a fact so true. "I couldn't tell if it was genuine at all.”

"Really? Not at all?" Sylvain asked, voice low.

Felix just about fainted, warmth spreading across his cheeks and pooling in his stomach. "Yeah."

Sylvain was leaning in again, his face so close Felix could feel his breath. "Do you want me to spell it out for you?"

Felix slowly nodded.

Sylvain tilted Felix's chin up towards him and closed the gap between them. The kiss was sugary sweet, much like the one that seemed like forever ago. It was dizzying in the best way possible.

Sylvain pulled away quickly, just to murmur, "I'm deeply enamored with you, too, Felix."

"Fuck you," Felix muttered, gripping his T-shirt collar to pull him in for another kiss. It started out innocent enough, but when Felix ran his tongue on Sylvain’s bottom lip, it quickly turned desperate and open-mouthed. Sylvain responded with enthusiasm, and Felix suddenly didn’t mind the shelves pressing against his back much anymore.

Sylvain quickly pulled away, though.

“Wait,” He gasped. “No, really, I—I do.” He stammered.

“Huh?” Felix said stupidly, because his brain was going a million miles a minute at the moment. Sylvain’s breath against his lips made it really hard to concentrate, and also he looked _really fucking hot_ all of the sudden.

“It _was_ genuine,” Sylvain breathed out, sounding embarrassed.

Felix blinked. “Yeah, I think I gathered that.”

“Oh. I wanted to make sure you knew.” Sylvain’s cheeks were flushed red, and Felix snorted at the sight.

“Come here,” He said, pulling him in for yet another kiss. Although it was their fourth one, Felix still felt as dizzy as their first.

And he was _happy_, so incredibly happy.

-

_Sylvain,_

_I first must start with an apology. I'm sorry._

_I'm sorry I never told you why I pulled away, and I'm sorry I ran. Running—from my problems, from my_ _emotions—is regretfully something I've always done, but it is now that I have decided to change. Why, you may ask?_

_It is because of you._

_I am changing because you pushed me out into the open, like a featherless bird to air. I was, understandably, furious at first. Your charm seemed faux, your smiles easily gifted to others. You of all people, I thought, had no right to try and change me._

_“I think you have the wrong impression of me.”_

_Do you remember when you spoke those words? I believe I understand them now; my impression of you was completely off. You are compassionate, caring, and the most exasperating person I have ever known. I see it in the way you coach, the way you speak, and the way you carry yourself. You make me want to better myself._

_I have toiled incessantly for ages on how to tell you this, but I simply cannot find the words._

_Sylvain, I am deeply, deeply enamored with you._

_I only hope this letter can prove that._

_Felix_

-

“_Sylvain_?” Felix barked.

“Yes, dear?” Sylvain asked, popping his head into his own office.

Felix was staring at the bulletin board behind Sylvain’s desk in utter and complete disbelief.

There, right there, was his letter from a year ago in the middle of the board. Clear as day, for anyone to read.

“What is this?” He asked through gritted teeth.

Sylvain walked up behind him and slung an arm around his waist. “My new bulletin board.”

“Please take it down,” Felix ordered, but made no effort to move.

“Why?” Sylvain whined, pulling him closer. “I like it.”

Felix hummed, resting his head on Sylvain’s shoulder with a sigh. “It’s embarrassing.”

“We’re going to miss rehearsal if we keep standing here,” Sylvain mused after a moment.

“Fuck—I forgot!”

“I was beginning to think you two weren’t coming!” Dorothea laughed as Felix burst through the auditorium doors, Sylvain slowly walking in afterwards. She was standing on stage with 10 or so cast members behind her. “From the top! _Voulez-vous! Take it now or leave it._.” She sang, snapping as she went on. “Sing!” Felix yelled to the cast as he took his seat. 

“You guys are doing a great job!” Sylvain followed it up with. Blake, who was playing Skye, flashed them a smile. 

Felix returned it happily.

“Careful, they might get the wrong idea if you’re nice to them this early,” Sylvain teased, taking his normal seat next to Felix. 

Felix smacked his arm playfully. “Whatever. They need some encouragement.”

“Are you admitting that I’m right?” 

Felix looked over at the man next to him. His expression was full of fondness.

“Yeah,” He said softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I’ve been so busy lately but I’m glad I was able to finish this  
Follow me on tumblr @saiion or instagram @zellalins if you want to chat!


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